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View Diary: Guys, If The Girl Is Drunk It Is Rape – Period (165 comments)

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  •  Whaaaaaaaat? (4+ / 0-)
    the discussion about whether to have sex or not should happen before either party drinks any alcohol.
     I love my girlfriend and one of the reasons is because she is a living, human being who thinks, and walks, and talks at the same time.  Your suggestion here sounds like rules I can imagine might possibly exist in the Romney household.

    The more you learn the less you know.

    by quiet in NC on Sun Mar 17, 2013 at 01:10:08 PM PDT

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    •  I don't know what that means. Don't save (4+ / 0-)

      important decisions until after you've had a drink. Make the decision ahead of time.

      Seems sensible to me. If you haven't made the decision ahead of time, assume no and wait for another time to have sex.

      It's not like anyone is going to die if they don't have sex. Why is having sex so much more important than maintaining respectful relations?

      •  A respectful relationship (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        JBNathan85, FrankRose

        is different from a legal relationship, which is what I think is discussed here.  Also, what is respectful for one couple is prudish for another.  If a couple wants to enjoy a completely legal beverage or two and have completely legal consensual sex after the fact, it doesn't matter if that's not sensible to you.  

        Political compass: -8.75 / -4.72

        by Mark Mywurtz on Sun Mar 17, 2013 at 06:22:25 PM PDT

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        •  Since user names don't necessarily connote gender (0+ / 0-)

          it is a bit hard to see who is arguing where the legal limit for consent should be.  I have a feeling that men and women have very different perspectives on this topic.  I've been reading how some don't understand why men can't restrain themselves when a women "rips her clothes off and begs for sex".  My guess is that response came from a woman.  Clearly that person doesn't have a clear understanding of male sexual response.  A male who has had a few too many doesn't necessarily have the capacity to restrain himself as he would sober.  The male sexual drive is strong and if a woman is considered impaired, the man is similarly impaired but likely in the opposite direction.  Men clearly should equally restrain himself in matters of drinking, the end result is not nearly as life changing as it can for a woman.  I'm not trying to excuse men from backing off when they can't get clear consent, all I'm saying is that both genders get impaired where alcohol is consumed and both genders need to be capable of being responsible.  Men are typically raised to be the sexually aggressive sex mostly because biology tends to cause the male of all species to "spread the seed" wherever possible.  The male human is no different than a male dog, horse or rat.  When it comes down to animal instinct, it is hard to fight millions of years of animal behavior.

          "War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength", George Orwell, "1984" -7.63 -5.95

          by dangoch on Sun Mar 17, 2013 at 07:32:12 PM PDT

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          •  JESUS FUCK! (3+ / 0-)

            Now all men are savage dogs and rats.  JESUS FUCK!  Maybe we all should just decide on the day of our marriage that we will engage in sex at this hour on this day in this year.  That way there is no surprises and everyone is happy happy happy forever and ever amen.

            The more you learn the less you know.

            by quiet in NC on Sun Mar 17, 2013 at 07:42:49 PM PDT

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          •  bullshit. (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:

            Straight up bullshit.  It has nothing to do with biologically males being more aggressive and needing to spread their seed - it has everything to do with a culture that enables men to believe they have a RIGHT to sex because they want it and will take advantage of the weak and powerless to get it.

            A man has every capacity to restrain himself if he chooses to - but in a society where about 3% of rapists have any real life consequences - he doesn't have to.

            Not the same thing at all.

            And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...

            by Mortifyd on Mon Mar 18, 2013 at 05:02:52 AM PDT

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