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View Diary: A Tiny And Localized Betrayal... (24 comments)

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  •  Warren, I'm sorry this happened to you (5+ / 0-)

    I don't doubt that both you and your wife are wonderful teachers, and I'm sure this young man owes some gratitude to you both.

    However, I would probably react the same way in his situation. First, it's your "adopted" culture. It is not his. And while I am a firm believer in respecting other cultures, I do not believe that I must abide by them.

    It sounds like he updated the bio with your wife's name in order to keep the peace. When you noticed he didn't include your name, I'm sure you were hurt, but demanding that he add it out of respect for your adopted culture just seems overbearing and, dare I say, incredibly rude.

    I love teachers, and I have a few who did change my life for the better. But if one of them sent me an email later in life upset that I didn't include them in my bio, I would find it creepy.

    I'm sorry, I understand you're hurt, but with the information you've provided here, I think that you were the one who was disrespectful and rude.

    Sorry. Hope we can still be friends.

    P.S. I am not a crackpot.

    by BoiseBlue on Mon Mar 25, 2013 at 06:23:23 PM PDT

    •  You misunderstand... (11+ / 0-)

      ...I did not demand anything.  

      I commented (extremely obliquely) on his acknowledgement of other teachers in his bio.  This was a public thread on facebook, and I am not a boor.

      And the fact is that if you become an Indian classical musician, you are perforce involved in the Indian music community, which is (surprise!) full of Indians.  Behavioral norms are maintained in this context.  A musician's performance is (unless the artist is very famous, and sometimes even then) invariably introduced by the recitation of pedigree.  This is an essential part of etiquette in this milieu.  

      When a teacher decides not to acknowledge one of her or his students, that represents a major break in relations.  When a student decides not to acknowledge one of his or her teachers, that represents either a calculated affront or evidence of gross cultural insensitivity — just above, say accepting a proffered gift with your left hand.

      Freedom isn't "on the march." Freedom dances.

      by WarrenS on Mon Mar 25, 2013 at 06:38:14 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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