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View Diary: "Rape is like football, little missy" (151 comments)

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  •  The problem is (9+ / 0-)
    I'm pretty sure I would favor discussing with them some situations that they should try to avoid
    When the focus is on the victim (or potential victim) to "avoid" situations that can lead to rape, you're putting the onus on the victim.  And the fact is that most women are raped by people they know and/or trust.  So how will you teach your girls to avoid that?  Never get close to anyone?  Don't ever trust men because someday they might decide to rape you?  Never ever drink around other people?  The problem with this is that it plants the seeds of "It's my fault" - if a young woman who has been brought up being taught this gets drunk and is assaulted/rape, she's going to be less likely to report it because "oh I shouldn't have been drinking".  The only consequence to being drunk should be potentially having a hangover.  

    I'm not saying you should pretend for your daughters that there are no dangers whatsoever out there.  But what about teaching them that their personal space is to be respected at all times.  And that they should respect other people's.  And how to speak up (or quietly get away & call for help) if they see something going on.   And that they don't 'owe' sex to someone just because they paid for dinner or whatever.

    The Girl Who Loved Stories
    I’m a feminist because the message is still "don’t get raped" not "don’t rape"

    by Avilyn on Tue Mar 26, 2013 at 12:38:31 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

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