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View Diary: When a nation says, 'We are sorry.' (238 comments)

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  •  go ask them in ten years, jplanner (0+ / 0-)

    no, would you know unless you asked.

    you are seeing them while they are still numb.  the denial can last for quite a while.

    we are talking about a life long loss here.

    •  and yes (0+ / 0-)

      LEGAL, SAFE and RARE

    •  true, I only know how they felt at that time but (0+ / 0-)

      I know that many women think about their abortions
      and "what if" also.

      But you know the child or chld to be better when you have carried him for longer (like 9 months vs 2), surely. So the loss must be greater.

      I do know women over the course of decades that gave babies up for adoption and DID have lifelong regrets but still felt it had been the right decision.

      However those women Had Not Been COerced or pressured even by society. In fact they had bucked pressure to get an abortion.

      So these poor women in Australia and, I am sure some in the US especially decades ago, had their children ripped from them. TOtally understandable then that the heart is torn.

      As I said it is about choice and autonomy.

      I am not a parent but I have been a foster parent of babies and toddlers and have loved them like my own (as far as I know, they felt like an extension of me). I have had them suddenly without any warning taken away. IT is surely not the same as if you carried the baby to term but I think it does give me an inkling.

      I think the reason why I objected to "rare" with adoption is that I volunteered with an agency that worked with first time mothers and their babies...and tangentially therefore DSS (social services). So many of the women we worked with were not stable enough to be parents/mothers. They had not considered adoption because no one around them did that. Many were young and angry and had an abuse history. Many regretted not having an abortion (according to them). Many resented their motherhood. True it was a certain cross section of new mothers...

      but for those women, adoption was too rare. That's what I was thinking of when I objected to "rare".

      Again not coerced or pressured abortion or adoption or (as it was partially for some of these women) motherhood.

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