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View Diary: Hannity, Malkin, defend ex-Rutgers coach's abuse (172 comments)

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  •  She would run out into traffic (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Leap Year, AussieforObama2ndterm

    I spent much of her baby and toddlerhood with her physically strapped to my hip.  She started walking at nine months, before her brain had caught up to her body.

    Believe me, as soon as I was able to bribe her with a cookie, I stopped spanking her.  The last time I spanked her was when she ran away from me at the zoo.  The zoo people found her a quarter mile away and brought her back to me on a golf cart.  Thank my lucky stars that happened someplace there were personnel with walkie talkies.

    I never had to spank my younger daughter because she wasn't a death risking daredevil.

    •  Doesn't Matter, She Didn't Deserve To Be "Spanked" (1+ / 1-)
      Recommended by:
      Sir Roderick
      Hidden by:
      Outraged Mom

      That was what you FELT you needed to do, but it had nothing to do with her, it had to do with YOU and YOUR needs and feelings.

      There are other ways to control a 3 year olds behavior if she's running into traffic.

      If she ran away from you at the zoo, frankly, it's YOUR fault for not keeping a better eye on your child. 3 year olds do that. It's normal, and they should not be spanked for it.

      It's your job to keep an eye on your 3 year old and make sure she doesn't run away at the zoo or wander into traffic. Period.

      This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

      by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 11:03:59 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  She didn't "wander" (3+ / 0-)

        She ran.  Deliberately.  She wanted to go to a different exhibit first.  She wanted to see the lions before the butterflies.

        And she could climb anything, quick as a wink.  She had no head for danger.

        I don't have to defend myself to you.  I know what I did was the right thing to do. The only other option would have been to put her a leash, like a dog.

        •  It Still Doesn't Matter, That's Normal For 3 (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Sir Roderick

          It does not excuse abuse, and yes, spanking is abuse, regardless of your personal justifications for it.

          This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

          by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 11:09:20 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  abuse would have been to let her get killed (0+ / 0-)

            which she most certainly would have if I didn't spank her

            •  No, That's Your Fears, Not Reality, And It Only (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              Sir Roderick

              Serves to make you feel better about the absue you perpetrated on your child.

              This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

              by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 11:13:03 AM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              •  Children running out into oncoming traffic (1+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                moseyon

                don't get killed?  

                There was one time, we got out of the car at an IHOP.  There was a very busy thoroughfare beyond the front of the car past the sidewalk, no fence.

                I was holding her hand as we got out of the car.  She wriggled her hand out of my grasp, rolled underneath the open car door and ran towards the sidewalk, toward the oncoming traffic, laughing.  I couldn't chase after her, the car door blocked my way (I was between two cars).  I didn't have time to shut the door and come after her.

                I was lucky, I was able to stop her with the sound of my voice, but I couldn't risk her doing that again.  I had to teach her that that behavior was dangerous.  

                That was just one of many, many instances.

                •  I Know You Have Your Justifications, But Hitting (2+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  Sir Roderick, Cassandra Waites

                  a toddler is wrong. What you taught her was how to be cognitiviely dissonant and that hitting people to get what you want is ok.

                  She was not taught that running into traffic was wrong.

                  She was given a pavlovian trigger to avoid traffic or receive pain.

                  She was TAUGHT pain=love.

                  This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                  by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 11:23:51 AM PDT

                  [ Parent ]

                  •  how old are your children? (0+ / 0-)

                    I'd like to know

                    •  I Have Twin Six Year Olds (3+ / 0-)

                      And they were both a handful at 3 and I NEVER had to hit them once, even though at times I may have FELT like it. I had the discipline and self control not to do it because it's wrong.

                      Somehow, they both learned not to run into traffic or run away at zoos. And they have both done that and I didn't hit them, and they learned anyway.

                      This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                      by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 11:29:09 AM PDT

                      [ Parent ]

                      •  I never "felt" like hitting my child (1+ / 0-)
                        Recommended by:
                        AussieforObama2ndterm

                        I did it very deliberately.  I never hit my child out of anger, but out of a very earnest desire to as you say, create a pavlovian fear of dying.

                        As I said, my oldest was unusual.  She had to be treated differently in the baby group too, in the pre-preschool group.  She was abnormal.  It wasn't that she was hyperactive, just unusually early developed in physical strength and coordination.

                        Not all children are alike.  My youngest one was (and is) a handful, but she didn't turn my hair gray.  

                        Now that they are grown, they both hit each other equally.  Even though they were treated differently with the spanking, they seem to act the same.  

                        •  Sure You Did, But I'm Sure That's How You (1+ / 0-)
                          Recommended by:
                          Sir Roderick

                          Justify it to yourself.

                          This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                          by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 11:38:11 AM PDT

                          [ Parent ]

                          •  If you ever feel like hitting your children (0+ / 0-)

                            out of anger, you should talk to a therapist.

                            You seem to know so much about me and my children.

                            When I was angry at my child, I would yell--I am a very effective yeller.

                            I never spanked my child when she was a pain in the ass, and believe me, she was often a pain in the ass.  I never spanked her to get her to do something I wanted.  I spanked her in very specific circumstances--immediately after she had willfully done something extremely physically dangerous to herself that had not resulted in any painful result.

                          •  Umm, You Hit Your Child To Stop Her From (1+ / 0-)
                            Recommended by:
                            Sir Roderick

                            Doing something. That's the same thing as hitting her to get he to do something you wanted.

                            I'm sure you tell yourself it was all perfectly reasonable and you didn't want to do it. "I do this for you and it hurts me more than it hurts you. I do this because I love you."

                            Cognitive dissonance at it's very root essence.

                            You hit her to satisfy YOUR emotional needs. I'm sure you really believe this is not the case. Most abusers feel the same way and use the same justifications.

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 12:01:31 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  my emotional need to keep her alive, yes (0+ / 0-)

                            indeed.

                            If it was such an emotional need to hit her, then why didn't I also hit her sister, or hit her under other circumstances?  Surely my emotional need to hit people wouldn't surface in such specific circumstances?

                            I do enjoy spanking people.  Grown-up people who consent to it.  I'm a dominant and my main love is rope bondage, but my submissives often have a taste for pain and in that circumstance I enjoy the act of spanking.  I know what that feels like and I am in touch with that part of myself.

                            Spanking my toddler wasn't to fulfill an emotional need, it was a very practical decision on my part.  To KEEP HER ALIVE.

                            If you are reading your own circumstance into my life, if YOU are feeling an emotional need to hit your children, I say again, that that is the sort of thing that should be discussed with a therapist.

                          •  LOL! You Actually HIT Your Kid! (1+ / 0-)
                            Recommended by:
                            Sir Roderick

                            And you're into bondage?

                            My oh my.

                            No, you spanking your child was not an emotional need on your part. Not at all.

                            Keep telling yourself that.

                            But my self control over my emotions that enables me to control any impulses towards violence, THAT'S the problem in your view?

                            ROFL!

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 12:27:52 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  when they returned her to me at the zoo (0+ / 0-)

                            all I could feel was intense relief.  There were so many things that could have happened to her.  There is nothing more agonizing than the feeling I had when she was gone  (it took them a long time to find her because she was so damn far away).  But I forced myself to put on a very angry face and immediately yell at her and give her some swats on her bottom, even though my EMOTIONAL reaction was to want to burst into tears, hold her in my arms and never let her go.  I was so happy to see her again.

                            I still remember every second of that agonizing time, years later.  I had nightmares about it for a long time.

                          •  Indeed, You Were Agonized, And You Hit Your Child (0+ / 0-)

                            as a response to YOUR agony. It was all about YOUR emotional needs and outlets.

                            For you to tell me there was no emotional component is a self deception on your point. There were LOT'S of emotions involved in that event, and for you to deny their role in YOUR behavior is doing yourself and your child a disservice.

                            She ran away at the zoo. She was 3 years old. They do that. She did not deserve to be hit for that. You hitting her was a response based on YOUR emotional state, not a necessity.

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 12:59:06 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  some day there will be a situation (1+ / 0-)
                            Recommended by:
                            Batya the Toon

                            where your children do not fit the normal mode, and you will be judged just as you have judged me today.  Not all children are the same, not all children respond the same way to the same things, and children have different needs.

                            In everything I have said, you have put yourself in my place, you have put your children in the place of my children.  We are different people and our children are different people.  My mind has not changed from my initial post in this diary.  Not every situation is the same and not everything is black and white.

                            I have answered all your arguments and you have still not been able to see outside your own very closeminded view.  Gently swatting a toddler on the bottom with an open hand to keep them from self harm is not the same thing as taking a belt to a nine-year-old.

                          •  See, You Think I'm Judging YOU, I'm NOt (0+ / 0-)

                            I'm not saying your a bad person, I'm saying I don't think you behaved appropriately.

                            You haven't answered all my arguments, you've gotten defensive in trying to justify behavior that you feel defensive about. And you've justified and justified and justified.

                            The fact that you feel the need to continue to try to justify it says more about how you really feel about that behavior to begin with than you consciously realize. You feel you DO need to justify it. You DO feel defensive about it. There's a reason for that.

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 01:10:34 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  you are calling me a child abuser (0+ / 0-)

                            and comparing me to a murderer.  Frankly I'm surprised you haven't been HRed into bojo, so clearly the community agrees with you.

                            I will keep arguing with you as long as you like.  You are deeply insulting me.  The worst I have called you is an asshole.

                          •  No, I'm Saying Your Behavior Was Abusive (0+ / 0-)

                            I believe it was. You feel defensive about it. Wonder why that is?

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 01:14:21 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  you are calling me a child abuser (0+ / 0-)

                            just look upthread where you said this:

                            You hit her to satisfy YOUR emotional needs. I'm sure you really believe this is not the case. Most abusers feel the same way and use the same justifications.
                            That sure sounds to me like you were calling me an abuser.
                          •  Nope (1+ / 0-)
                            Recommended by:
                            cordgrass

                            I'm saying that people who ARE abusers use the same types of justifications.

                            I don't know if you are an abuser or not, I only know that the behavior you have described is in my opinion, abusive.

                            However, if it was not chronic and happened only occasionally under certain circumstance, I would not consider you to be a child abuser, I would consider you to have used bad judgement on several occasions.

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 01:22:25 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  Cordgrass, You Are NOT A Bad Person, IMO (0+ / 0-)

                            I just want to make that very, very clear. I am NOT judging you. You recc'd my last post, and I hope that was not accidental. This is a subject that is INCREDIBLY delicate, and emotionally charged, and there are many, unconscious PROGRAMMED responses that people have to this subject.

                            When you hit your child, as punishment, as you have indicated, it cannot help but be an emotional event, on all levels. Do you agree?

                            Just think about that.

                            For you AND your child.

                            You seem to think that causing them THIS pain and humiliation will achieve some goal, and yet, you also dismiss it as "just a pat". If it's "just a pat", how will it achieve your goal?

                            Why do you maintain this contradiction?

                            Do you see what I'm getting at here?

                            You were "spanked" as a child, were you not?

                            How do you feel about that?

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 06:45:02 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  So far none of this merits an HR in my opinion (5+ / 0-)

                            but I don't agree with it for a moment.

                          •  Beetwasher, cordgrass HAS answered your arguments. (3+ / 0-)

                            Repeatedly, thoroughly, and rationally.

                            Characterizing every single answer as "defensiveness" and "justification" doesn't mean you haven't been answered.

                          •  Umm, There Was Nothing To "Answer" (0+ / 0-)

                            I was stating my opinion that the behavior she described was abusive.

                            She disagreed and got defensive.

                            There's no "rational" reason to hit a child, especially a toddler. That's my opinion. There's no "answer" to that, there's only defensiveness and supposed justifications for doing so.

                            In my opinion, it is never justified. She disagrees. That's her perogative. I never asked her for justifications nor was it required. She felt it was necessary.

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 01:32:50 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  If there was nothing to "answer" (2+ / 0-)
                            Recommended by:
                            cordgrass, starfu

                            then why this?

                            You haven't answered all my arguments, you've gotten defensive
                          •  LOL! She Said She Answered All My Arguments! (0+ / 0-)

                            Whatever that means, I was responding to her!

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 01:36:27 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  Uh-huh. (3+ / 0-)
                            Recommended by:
                            cordgrass, Wood Dragon, starfu

                            So essentially:  your opinion is just your opinion, but no argument given to support disagreement with it can ever be anything but defensiveness and justification.  And all the things you're saying to support your own opinion ... aren't arguments?

                            You sure you don't believe in absolutes?  Because you're sounding like you do.

                          •  Is That What I Said? Where Did I Say That? (0+ / 0-)

                            Oh, that's right, I never said that, that's all in your imagination.

                            Yes, my opinion is just my opinion. That's a problem for you? You sound like you WANT me to speak in absolutes so you might have something to hang your hat on.

                            It's very simple. I stated what I believed. I believe striking a child is never justified.  Cordgrass, even though I wasn't speaking to her, felt the need to jump in and claim that yes, she hit her child, but it was entirely justified. And then proceeded to justify and justify and justify.

                            Yeah, I'd call that defensive. I didn't ask her to do that. I wasn't even speaking to her.  Who is she trying to convince that her behavior was justified? Me? Who the fuck cares what some asshole like me on the internet thinks? I made it very clear I don't think it's every jusitified, and yet she continues and continues to try to justify it. To me? Or to herself? You decide.

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 01:52:57 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  Where did you say that? (0+ / 0-)

                            Right about here:

                            That's my opinion. There's no "answer" to that, there's only defensiveness and supposed justifications for doing so.
                            And no, the "I wasn't even talking to her" special pleading won't wash.  You say something in a public venue, you are speaking to everybody who reads it.  You say "X is child abuse", you are in fact accusing everybody who does X of child abuse.

                            ... and you know what, this has turned into a discussion about the discussion instead of about the issue.  That's never a good sign.  I think I might take a few hours' break and revisit this evening.

                          •  That Doesn't Say What You Apparently Think It Does (0+ / 0-)

                            To make it clearer:  That's my opinion. I don't see her "answering' that, I see her being defensive and justifying her actions.

                            I wasn't saying "My opinions are fact and can only be responded to with justifications and defensiveness. There's a difference.

                            this has turned into a discussion about the discussion instead of about the issue.  That's never a good sign.  I think I might take a few hours' break and revisit this evening.
                            Yeah, gee, wonder how that happened.

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 02:11:08 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

        •  kids on leashes (0+ / 0-)

          at about minute 1:50 there's an old guy waving a cell phone over his head. why?

      •  did your baby walk at nine months? (0+ / 0-)

        Don't judge me until you have been in my shoes.

        •  Just Like Hannity! You Have Your Justifications (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Sir Roderick

          And you'll be damned if anyone will tell you differently! YOU turned out ok, right?

          There are other ways, but you don't need to know that, you just need to justify that what you did was "right", that way you don't have to feel bad about it.

          It's all about YOUR feelings, not what your kid did.

          This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

          by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 11:11:56 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  you are the one with preconceived notions, not me (0+ / 0-)

            you are the one saying that there is never a case when it is okay to swat a toddler

            •  There IS Never A Justification For Hitting A (2+ / 1-)
              Recommended by:
              Sir Roderick, Cassandra Waites
              Hidden by:
              Outraged Mom

              Toddler. Damn straight. A 3 year old doesn't understand tough love. They only understand that they are being caused pain and they are being told it's love. The very root of cognitive dissonance.

              This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

              by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 11:17:47 AM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              •  They learn about danger from the pain they feel (0+ / 0-)

                If they jump down off a high place, they get hurt.  If they climb and fall, they get hurt.  I let my daughter experience those natural hurts, but I wasn't going to let her get killed for her to learn a lesson.

                Children that young do not understand the passage of time, or rewards and punishments in the future.  As soon as she was able to comprehend the future, I was able to threaten non-physical punishments like no cookie or no toy.  But in the very small child, a very dangerous behavior followed by immediate mild (very light swat) teaches the child that that behavior is dangerous.  All children learn that way.

                •  No, They Don't Learn From The Pain (2+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  Sir Roderick, Cassandra Waites

                  They learn a pavlovian response to avoid traffic or receive pain.

                  What they cognitively learn is that it's ok to hit people to get what you want from them.

                  They cognivitely learn that pain=love, since you tell them that you did it because you love them and it's for their own good. This is the very root of cognitive dissonance. That it was you taught her.

                  This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                  by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 11:27:34 AM PDT

                  [ Parent ]

                  •  fine. At least she's alive. nt (0+ / 0-)
                    •  Honestly, What Your Describing Is Not The Worst (2+ / 0-)
                      Recommended by:
                      Sir Roderick, Cassandra Waites

                      Thing in the world, and I'm sure your daughter will turn out fine. What you did, I'm sure, was mild, but I truly believe not necessary.

                      But you might want to reflect on it a bit, do some reading about it, and think about how you might explain your disciplining of your child to her in a way that won't make HER feel responsible for what you did to her. She is not responsible for it, despite what she did. 3 year olds DO NOT KNOW BETTER. THe DO need to be taught, but hitting is not the most effective way.

                      It IS the easy way, but not the best or most effective way.

                      This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                      by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 11:32:04 AM PDT

                      [ Parent ]

                      •  we have often discussed how I spanked her (0+ / 0-)

                        and why.  I sincerely hope if her children, if she has children, are born the way she was, that she will not hesitate or feel the slightest qualm about spanking them.

                        But if she wants to put them on leashes instead, I will be a good grandmother and shut my trap.

                        •  Yes, This Is Very Common, And It's Why Abuse (2+ / 0-)
                          Recommended by:
                          Sir Roderick, Cassandra Waites

                          Continues to be perpetuated in our culture.

                          Thankfully, more and more people are understanding it is wrong to hit children, no matter the cirucumstances.

                          You taught her violence is ok to get people to do what you want. Yes, she will likely teach the  same to her children.

                          And so it goes.

                          This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                          by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 11:40:56 AM PDT

                          [ Parent ]

                          •  I see your sig shows you are self aware nt (1+ / 0-)
                            Recommended by:
                            starfu
                          •  Oh, Yeah, I'm An Asshole Alright, Especially (1+ / 0-)
                            Recommended by:
                            Sir Roderick

                            to parents who hit their 3 year old kids and think it's just honkey dorey and their 3 year old kids deserved it!

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 11:55:26 AM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  "deserved"? what on earth are you talking about? (0+ / 0-)

                            I was trying to instill in my daughter a sense of danger in dangerous situations.  And I was successful.

                          •  Keep Telling Yourself That Your Abuse Was (1+ / 0-)
                            Recommended by:
                            Sir Roderick

                            Necessary to achieve that.

                            You're obviously very defensive about it because you need to believe you were correct in doing so. You need to justify your behavior, I get it. Even murderers have justifications for their behavior.

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 12:29:21 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  how would you have taught her that (1+ / 0-)
                            Recommended by:
                            Batya the Toon

                            dangerous situations were dangerous?  At two?

                            I did honestly feel it was necessary.  Rationally necessary.  I stopped it as soon as I felt I had an alternative.

                            If I had some emotional need to beat my children, wouldn't I have continued to spank her and also spank her sister?

                          •  I Would Speak Firmly To Her About The Danger (0+ / 0-)

                            I would explain it to her, simply.  2 year olds can understand these things on a simple verbal level, but also on an emotional, non-verbal level. They can understand mommy is upset. I would keep a closer eye on her. If she continued to exhibit dangerous behavior like running into traffic, I would do everything to keep her away from situations that would put her near traffic when she wasn't constantly supervised. I would keep her in a play pen, behind a gate etc.  It is your responsibility to watch your kids. 2 year olds don't know traffic is dangerous, and hitting them is no way to effectively teach them. It's the easy way to get what you want, but it's not the effective way.

                            If I had some emotional need to beat my children, wouldn't I have continued to spank her and also spank her sister?
                            Nope, not necessarily. Not at all. In fact, it's not unusual for abuse to be heaped upon one child and not another. It's called scapegoating, and it's a fairly common dynamic in abusive situations.

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 12:53:41 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

                          •  you don't think I TRIED that sort of thing? (0+ / 0-)

                            Christ, I'm not a moron.

                            I went beyond keeping her in a playpen, I had her STRAPPED TO MY BODY for much of the time.  She could CLIMB OUT OF PLAYPENS.

                          •  You Keep Trying (0+ / 0-)

                            You decided to take the easy way out and hit her.

                            Her getting away and being in danger was emotional turmoil for you, correct? But you claim there was no emotion behind your response, which was to hit her?

                            How does that work? Are you Spock?

                            This post is dedicated to myself, without whom, I'd be somebody else. Though I'd still be an asshole. My Music: [http://www.myspace.com/beetwasher]

                            by Beetwasher on Thu Apr 04, 2013 at 01:01:00 PM PDT

                            [ Parent ]

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