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View Diary: PTSD: Reminders That It Never Ends (69 comments)

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  •  Me too. (6+ / 0-)

    Over the past 5 years, I have had to cut all contact with every single member of my family.  The reason?  I had to draw a line--if they were going to be in my life anymore, my experiences and feelings had to be accepted and respected.  For so many years I had overlooked/denied/dismissed/minimized the ridicule (that labeled me overly emotional, dramatic, exaggerating attention seeker to outright fabricator) as "not my problem" but at some point I had to face the toll it had taken on my throughout my life.  In some ways, I think that it has been more destructive to me than the intense abuse I suffered as a child.  And it continued because I wouldn't "give up" on my family.  I loved them (I still do) and wanted to have them in my life.  But I did (and still do) pay a very very high price for a commitment to them which was not returned.  

    And Lorelei, you can understand your mother.  I believe I have a lot of understanding of my mother--and compassion for her.  But  your feelings are important and they matter and should be honored,  And you should not feel as though you should ever tolerated abusive/dismissive/disrespectful behavior from anyone.  

    And BIG hugs to both you!!!!

    •  me too (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      chimene, Avilyn, Cassandra Waites

      going on five years

      a lifetime of trying to find some way to have loving relations with them

      stuck around for the one or two who actually cared

      when they died I left

      These past years with contact with those uncaring, unloving, abusive relatives finally gone, I've felt a sense of safety and peace of mind I didn't even realize I had never experienced before

    •  I understand (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Avilyn, 4Freedom, Cassandra Waites

      I just don't accept. Yes, she's mentally ill, she has OCD and she used more drugs than really are conceivable. So many that I have LSD flashbacks when I take Zithromax (an antibiotic), FFS!!!!!

      My father's heroin habit was $2k a day in the 70s. My mother preferred LSD and cocaine, but she did heroin, too, so I imagine it was up there.

      So yes, she was fucked up. But she treated my brother and sister like gold, so she had the ability. /shrug  Again, it comes down to, so sorry I was going through withdrawals as an infant, but it was your own damned fault.

      Get 10% off with KATALOGUE2013 at my shop, or go to the Kos Katalogue!

      by LoreleiHI on Fri Apr 05, 2013 at 11:34:36 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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