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View Diary: PTSD: Reminders That It Never Ends (69 comments)

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  •  Sounds like a few of us had malignant (2+ / 0-)
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    LoreleiHI, Cassandra Waites

    narcissists for a mother. My brother, also adopted, said we were lucky to get out of our family situation alive. I'm still an insomniac with the occasional terrors about being around people I don't know. Sometimes I can't even trust those I know and love.

    Until I left home, I had a dream every night where I was chased by a wicked witch into a huge old Victorian house. Inside, I would run up many flights of stairs to avoid her, with her drawing closer every minute.

    Finally, knowing she would kill me if she caught me, I would jump out through a glass window and fall to my death. I would awaken, covered with sweat and shaking with terror, just before I hit the ground.

    It takes 30-45mg of temazepam, a benzodiazapam, valerian and melatonin to help me fall asleep. Otherwise I can be awake for days at a stretch. I almost never fall asleep naturally, maybe 3-4 times a year. I also had a seizure disorder as a child, and still have lots or residual bits and pieces of trauma.

    PTSD is powerful!

    You can't go back and rewrite your past, but you can use your past to create your future. ~ Ray Lewis

    by 4Freedom on Fri Apr 05, 2013 at 03:09:40 PM PDT

    •  I don't rospond well to sleep agents (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Cassandra Waites

      The best I can do is soothing tea. But then, most medications affect me oddly (see my prenatal exposure).

      Ambien will make me sleep, but with unacceptable levels of 'traveler's amnesia'. Hours of it. Just NO.

      So I'm a chronic insomniac. There's not much to be done.

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      by LoreleiHI on Fri Apr 05, 2013 at 03:24:50 PM PDT

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