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View Diary: Did you hear the one about the 4yo who shot the deputy's wife? But he did not shoot the deputy. (285 comments)

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  •  That 4-year-old will be fine. (0+ / 0-)

    Kids are resilient, and at 4, you're not even likely to know what exactly happened... just something bad. In addition, the person who got shot might have been a relative, but wasn't "his mom", so there won't be a daily reminder. Plus, nobody is going to blame him as he gets older, or shun him, etc. He won't even really remember this clearly after a short while.

    Who won't be fine is everyone else affected by this. They're the ones who'll need therapy.

    Freedom isn't free. So quit whining and pay your taxes.

    by walk2live on Tue Apr 09, 2013 at 08:43:45 AM PDT

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    •  Not likely that you're correct (9+ / 0-)

      Everyone who ever comes to know him through his family will know about it.  He'll know about it.  He'll have to face it as a human being.  

      It's not a direct memory that causes the main issues, but I'm sure you've got plenty of memories from when you were that old, and I am going to be that such a traumatic and chaotic event as this must have been, it's not going to be easy to forget.  



      by otto on Tue Apr 09, 2013 at 08:51:25 AM PDT

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      •  he'll know about it, for sure... (0+ / 0-)

        but it won't likely be a trauma for him... rather just one of those things. Nobody is going to blame him, and he likely won't remember the details first-hand. Most people can remember very little about what happened when they were 4, even very tragic events, and those memories are hazy.

        If he'd shot his mother or immediate family member, their absence would be felt, and would affect the boy in different ways.

        Anyway, I'm not trying to excust anyone, or claim that everything will be just fine. I just think people don't realize how well very small kids are at coping with tragedies like this. In a sense, their ignorance is bliss.

        Freedom isn't free. So quit whining and pay your taxes.

        by walk2live on Tue Apr 09, 2013 at 03:53:10 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  Kids are resilient (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      milton333, otto

      when they see or experience trauma, provided they have supportive stable adults around them.  But they are not so resilient when they are the authors of something like this.  The kid's problem won't be PTSD, it will be the knowledge that he killed someone.

      “If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin.” Charles Darwin

      by ivorybill on Tue Apr 09, 2013 at 02:30:50 PM PDT

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      •  SOME kids are resilient (0+ / 0-)

        There are questions about what causes kids to be resilient.  

        It's amazing to me that someone would say a four year old who shot and killed a family member won't end up with long term problems.  Astounding.


        by otto on Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 06:46:25 AM PDT

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