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View Diary: Yesterday, I felt worthless & humiliated (174 comments)

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  •  I was repeatedly exorcised by my parents' church (23+ / 0-)

    for having the 'Spirit of Bitterness' because I wasn't submissive enough to be happy baout going back home after I told my mother and my mother told the pastor about the years of sexual abuse.

    I'm talking grabbed from behind with no warning, dragged to the front, surrounded, shoved, hit, punched, pushed to the ground, kicked, all while they screamed at me, 'prayed in tongues', told me how evil i was, and it went on for a long time, all while my 'father' played the piano.

    Churches, no matter what kind, are a bit of a PTSD trigger for me.

    I appreciate the thought. It's just that to make it through GMB's funeral service, I had to take 4mg of clonopin, and still only managed to not bolt because Keori was there to keep me grounded.

    Get 10% off with KATALOGUE2013 at my shop, or go to the Kos Katalogue!

    by LoreleiHI on Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 07:17:06 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  They are not easy to convince we are traumatized (16+ / 0-)

      by the mention of a church for help.

      I'm still sweating from reading that original comment.

      "Til you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules" John Lennon - Working Class Hero

      by Horace Boothroyd III on Wed Apr 10, 2013 at 07:27:31 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  I'm so sorry (8+ / 0-)

      That is evil.  I can see how a church could be a PTSD trigger after what happened to you.  

    •  I was glad to meet you at GMB's funeral ... (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Avilyn, mayim

      ... though we could have wished for happier circumstances, and I hope you are able to make the meet-up on April 20 in Portland.

      "The fears of one class of men are not the measure of the rights of another." ~ George Bancroft (1800-1891)

      by JBL55 on Thu Apr 11, 2013 at 06:29:45 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Lorelei and Horace, I'm not a Christian either.... (4+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        ScienceMom, GAladybug, JBL55, PinHole

        ...and I have also had serious problems with homophobes in just about ALL faiths, including my own tradition. But, like my co-religionist Einstein, I have found great comfort and meaning in the teachings that my true Christian friends consider the hallmark of their faith....

        "I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in;  I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’

        Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me."

        Lorelei and Horace, you are both damaged goods, as are we all. We have all suffered terrible slights in our lives, you two far more than most of us. And that damage - in your case - has come from people who claim to be Christian and cruelly tried to inflict their brand of religion on you.

        What has happened to you is no different than being robbed and beaten - or being raped. If you were robbed and the robber happened to be black, it would understandable if you feared black folks - you can't control fear. But you would be horribly wrong to hate all black folks and shut them out of your life. And if the person who raped you was a man, it would be just as wrong to hate all men and shut them all out of your life.

        I fully understand your antipathy toward religion, but there are many, many people who will reach out to you - who will throw you a lifeline - because they truly believe God is love. If you meet any of these people, tell them what happened to you, and they may understand what you went through. If they do, they won't sermonize or prostelytize. Love - if it is true - is unconditional.

        This is all very complex. For example, I despise the Catholic church's hypocrisy on gay issues. With their history of sexual assault, they should be the last people on this earth to be crusading against gay rights. But I love my dear Catholic friends - especially the nuns who taught my Down syndrome brother at a Catholic school "for exceptional children." I have many religious Catholic friends, including women religious, and they care more about the poor and gay folks than they do about the Church's politics or its hypocrisy.

        Again, what you need and deserve is more than government is going to provide. It will take courage for you to seek that assistance from the faith community. I am not telling you do reach out them. That is your choice.

        My own faith teaches me that it is our task on this earth to mend that which is torn, and that if we save one life, it is as if we save the entire world.
        (Of course, our ultra-Orthodox are among the worst homophobes) And that is why I am reaching out to you. Not to sell you any religion, but because I feel for another human being, and want to be of help. That's it.

        Forgive me if I come across a preachy, but your situation has saddened me greatly and I want to be of help. And we have much in common, even down to the partial hearing loss and the physical pain of neuropathy. I truly wish you only the best and, above all, peace of mind and happiness in your life.

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