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View Diary: I Was a Dupe at Williams Sonoma (177 comments)

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  •  thx (7+ / 0-)

    I also think it's important for him to learn what I do....
    but he refuses my offer for him to have a chance to do the cooking, lol.
    I am trying to learn a little of it.

    Finally people have gotten sick and tired of being had and taken for idiots. Mikhail Gorbachev

    by eve on Thu Apr 11, 2013 at 05:16:59 PM PDT

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    •  good for you, eve. (6+ / 0-)

      it's hard to think about the money-manager in a pair "going" first, but it happens. then the less-fiscally-experienced one gets left to flounder on their own, having to learn really important stuff, really fast, while emotionally impaired & distracted!

      being bereaved is bad enough, but feeling like you're about to drown in the money whirlpool... or lose the house, or the retirement account that the manager so carefully, lovingly crafted for both of you...

      at the least, talk to him about following through a month's budget activities and taking notes (that YOU will be able to understand later), and also the taxes and the various insurance payments and the property tax (once or twice-a-year pieces of business), and any other obligations that may come up. Also find out where all the bank accounts, and safe deposit boxes, and so forth actually ARE! And where are the valuables kept at home? and what value does the manager place on stuff like the family antique/heirloom furniture, silver, paintings, collections... so the survivor doesn't end up selling valuable items for pennies...

      I speak as the child of a woman who, amazingly to me, WAS able to cope with the loss of two husbands, once when she had 3 minor children to raise on Vet's & SS survivors' benefits, and later when she was left considerable property. She actually understood this stuff, I think (trained as a bookkeeper), but she learned a lot by herself, too. Enough to maintain the life she wanted.

      "real" work : a job where you wash your hands BEFORE you use the bathroom...

      by chimene on Thu Apr 11, 2013 at 09:08:20 PM PDT

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