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View Diary: In My Head (13 comments)

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  •  When it disappears without warning. (31+ / 0-)

    I know that this beautiful diary is personal, dear PapaChach, but I think it echoes in the hearts of so very many people tonight -- in Boston, in West, and in smaller and larger places everywhere. I know it did, for me.

    And now it's Sunday night coming down, the weekend down to a few barely-burning embers visible only to the dead-enders like myself who refuse to let go. Seven hours from now the alarm will ring in a new week, the routine will start again, and I'll be glad for it; these days the routine consists of a decent job, a house full of happy and healthy children that I share with a woman I love. The routine is underrated sometimes, I think; I've seen what happens when it disappears suddenly, without warning.
    For those who have lost a child, especially one of tender years, there are days that take on a more melancholy significance than most.  

    Early on, most are bad, numb.

    Then the mail falls through the slot, and eggs or cereal or pancakes are made for breakfast, forks and knives are sorted in the dishwasher, or washed and dried by hand, beds are made, loose buttons are retightened on shirts with a needle and a thread.  A respite of plain returns.  

    Forever after though, once a year, a birthday comes around, and you think, “He would have been 24 today.” And then you wonder, “What would he have looked like? Would he have loved art or chemistry?  What would have been his favorite color? Would he have fallen in love?”

    Or, on a an ordinary day (an ordinary day for which you are so grateful for its ordinariness), you bend to scoop hot clothes from the dryer, and a small sock shows up, folded out of nowhere, and you remember kissing the clean tiny wiggly foot that wore it.


    A child, a wife, a husband, a parent, a brother or a sister.  

    May all those with tattered hearts find a measure of solace tonight.

    Thinking of you. Thank you.

    Be sure you put your feet in the right place; then stand firm. ~ Abraham Lincoln

    by noweasels on Sun Apr 21, 2013 at 09:50:02 PM PDT

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