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View Diary: Domestic cleaning - 1913 style! (37 comments)

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  •  How about assigning new nuggets (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    RiveroftheWest

    to the mail buoy detail??...

    “that our civil rights have no dependence on our religious opinions, any more than our opinions in physics or geometry.” Thomas Jefferson

    by markdd on Sat Apr 27, 2013 at 07:36:57 AM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  Greatest prank of all time. (longish) (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      RiveroftheWest, markdd, Tinfoil Hat

      The senior deck force guys got a truck inner tube and built a small platform across the hole. To that they fixed a milk crate, and on top of that a lifering strobe light.

      They painted as much as they could in Coast Guard white, and labeled it "US Mail."

      During the 8-12 evening watch, one of the brand new, wet-behind-the-ears "boots" was breaking in on the bridge as the messenger with a senior seaman. The quartermaster comes out of the chart room, and tells the OOD that the mail buoy is coming up, and they have to get it. The OOD then tells the messenger duo they'll have to get it. He orders all ahead slow, and the senior messenger takes his trainee back to the fantail with a boat hook to grab it.

      Meanwhile, the deck force mob has erupted out of hiding in the foc'sle, launches the "mail buoy" off the bow, the captain is practically running up the ladder to the bridge to watch all this, and everyone else is trying hard not to be seen watching the boot.

      The quartermaster pipes the buoy on the port side over the PA, and the senior messenger has the boot leaning over the side with the boat hook, and telling him that if he misses it, the captain was going to charge his ass with dereliction of duty if he didn't get it because we had to have that mail!

      Sweating buckets, he did manage to hook it, and the two heaved it up the side. The chief bosun's mate goes out to the fantail and begins seriously messing with him about the whole operation, making the kid even more scared. Then the captain went back to the fantail, and f#$%^# with him a bit too. {Full bird captain too...}

      Only then, with the kid about to sh^& his pants, did they tell him it was a joke. Out of 120 crew and officers, only the handful of new boots had no idea about the impossibility of a mail buoy. Everyone was in on it but them, from the captain on down.

      We were in the Gulf of Alaska, heading to Kodiak Island when this one got pulled, in about 500 fathoms of water (3000'): no buoys of a postal nature could possibly be anchored there. ;)

      Disclaimer: no impressionable young men were actually harmed during this performance, nor shall this act presume any responsibility for future trauma caused by continued, additional pranks.

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