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View Diary: Why it's better to be alive at the funeral (41 comments)

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  •  oddly enough, I faced the "funeral" question (4+ / 0-)

    not long ago, when I finally got around to making out a will. When my lawyer asked "What do you want done with the body?", my immediate answer was "Who cares? I'll be dead.  You can wrap me in plastic and drop me in the dumpster for all I care. (shrug)"

    So what I finally settled on was that I be cremated and the urn be given to my sister, to do with as she sees fit.  If she wants to scatter me in the backyard woods so I can fertilize a few flowers, that's cool. If she wants to take a pinch of me along to every vacation she takes, that's cool.  If she wants to dump me in the ocean, that's cool.  And if she wants to set me on top of the TV set, that's cool too.

    And I don't want any funeral ceremony. When I go, I just want everyone who knew me to pause for a second, think of me (good or bad), then go on with their lives.

    "From nothing I come,
    To nothing I return.
    What is this light
    Between darkness and darkness?"

    (A poem I wrote in high school--I'd like it written on my urn.)

    •  Interesting. Nice poem, too. (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      ladybug53, RiveroftheWest

      One of the benefits of ceremony for me is the gathering of folks who might not otherwise have gathered and whatever they come away from it with. But your observation also brings up the point that even with ceremony, not everyone will even know (and some will or won't care that they knew or didn't). Whenever I hear someone died long after the fact, of course it means I probably didn't know them that well, but I still have recourse to think my own thoughts about what memories I have. It works for me too.

      I discover myself on the verge of a usual mistake. ― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

      by dannyboy1 on Thu May 02, 2013 at 03:17:46 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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