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View Diary: * New Day * — Who was your first friend? (178 comments)

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  •  wow, p, what a story (5+ / 0-)

    when you wrote American ideal, I first read it as American idol, which I guess in a way is the gist of it.

    I think you hit the nail on the head regarding "social networking," that too much emphasis is on gaining an advantage for yourself by using others as marketing props. I guess that's okay to some extent if you recognize it for what it is (a mutually beneficial business agreement?) as long as you don't conflate it with the more selfless nature of friendship. I guess ultimately the medium doesn't really matter, and often facebook serves to reinforce already existing friendships. It's more like a spiritual practice, once you've awakened to the sacred pillars of friendship, it doesn't really matter where and how it manifests. I have friends who I have known and grown with my entire lifetime, but I also have friends like you who I have only met very recently but feel deeply connected to. I think it's about generosity of spirit — when two or more generous souls meet it doesn't matter how much time you've shared in the flesh.

    Ecology is the new Economy

    by citisven on Thu May 02, 2013 at 11:09:20 AM PDT

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    •  ...nothing is more true than what you wrote... (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      kimoconnor, Darryl House, navajo, citisven
      I think it's about generosity of spirit — when two or more generous souls meet it doesn't matter how much time you've shared in the flesh.
      The thing that is interesting is how folks struggle with what I guess can only be described as their "shadow self."

      The guy I was talking about above was the last "best friend" I made who I spent a lot of time with. Smileycreek became "best friends" with his wife. We were both as generous, kind and caring as anyone could be.

      These folks were wanting to be real friends in the beginning, but the guy's "shadow self" gained control of him just as it had a least two times before.

      He was able to keep all of this from his wife, yet let smileycreek and me know all about it. He was a manipulator and bullshit artist. The person he deceived the most was his own wife. He lived an entire life outside of his marriage that he kept from her.

      A lot of why he did what he did was to make the ending of our 4-way friendship so hideous and horrendous that he could be absolutely certain his wife would NEVER have contact with smileycreek again. He was making sure his dirty secrets that he kept from his wife would always remain secret from her.

      So, I've pretty much come to the conclusion I won't be entering such a tight friendship again. It's just too dangerous. MOST people put their own selfishness ahead of anything.

      In the end I became simply a "tool" he used to succeed in doing what is the most important thing to him by his own admission = how he appears to be vs. being real and genuine.

      Ignorance is bliss only for the ignorant. The rest of us must suffer the consequences.

      by paradise50 on Thu May 02, 2013 at 11:26:02 AM PDT

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