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View Diary: Howard Kurtz is just *appalled* that Jason Collins dated a womanfolk. UPDATE: Kurtz Fired (284 comments)

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  •  I guess you're not too aware (51+ / 0-)

    of the issues surrounding gay people and the social pressures to be straight when they really are not.

    I guess you've no idea about how gay men and women will delude themselves into believing--earnestly--that bedding and wedding a member of the opposite sex will "fix" them. That it will somehow enable them to change their feelings, which they don't want to have.

    I guess you're not up on how many, many gay people don't even realize they're gay until fairly late in life. Such as my friend in Baltimore who seriously didn't become congnizant of his homosexuality until after he was married with 2 kids.

    I guess you're not too empathetic to a subclass of people who, because there is a long history of social pressure telling them that being gay is a sickness and sin, try desperately to avoid being gay, while at the same time being desperate for companionship and to experience love.

    That Collins believed he had to be something he wasn't is a shame for both him and his fiance, but the real culprit here isn't him. It's a society that still is rife with homophobia and culture that sends constant signals that being gay is lesser, that gay relationships are lesser.

    But you were too busy buying into Kurtz's breathless, hypocritical judgement to have much understanding or empathy, it seems. What are you doing on a progressive website again?

    •  Is it kind of like (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      white blitz, caul

      the social pressures of choosing a race when you are both?  

      Is it kind of like the social pressures of acting however society feels you should act based on where you are or who you are with?

      Like if I live in Canada and all the Canadians make fun of me because I talk like a black kid?  Should I then start acting like a white canadian?

      Or like if I live in Harlem and don't sound black enough should I then start acting more black to avoid being ostracized?

      OR what about who I choose to date is it the pressure from my black friends and family that I should date black people?  Or pressure from the families of my white girlfriends that I have to not have any thoughts related to black people if I want to be a good boyfriend?

      I know about those kind of pressures, furthermore in my own self discovery I have done things I am not proud of.  I've done things that have hurt people and I have to own it.  Just like he does.  

      He's not a bad person, coming out under those circumstances is very brave but like many people that have to discover who they really are under immense social pressure (not just gay people) we make mistakes along the way.  It's a part of the process. that's my takeaway from Howard's poorly worded article.  

      Who ya gonna shoot wit dat homie, you'd rather blast an original instead of a phony, true macaroni, you don't even know me, and why does your gun say n****z only?

      by mim5677 on Thu May 02, 2013 at 01:42:34 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Shit, I wasn't sure (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      I was *hetero*sexual until I was over 30.  There's essentially no difference between me and Jason Collins' self-description other than in the details - besides how the story turns out.

      It always strikes me as unfair to expect someone to be not average for their circumstances, but better than almost everyone, and then hold it against them when they fail to live up to those unrealistic expectations.

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