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View Diary: Howard Kurtz is just *appalled* that Jason Collins dated a womanfolk. UPDATE: Kurtz Fired (284 comments)

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  •  "You can't force gay people into the shadows... (18+ / 0-)

    Then complain that they live in the dark"

    That was a quote in a documentary years ago from a VA prosecutor who was living a double life - straight, married lawyer by day, by night a closeted gay man picking up other guys in very seedy locations - exactly the behavior he was prosecuting during the day.

    I have a lot of sympathy for Moos, as I do for all straight spouses and boy/girlfriends in the same position, but her relationship with Collins does not make Collins a bad guy. I was close to Collins' age when I came out, and I would have dated women when I was in the closet, if I weren't a classic Kinsey 6 (on the Kinsey scale, 6 is totally homosexual). As for remaining single, you have no idea of the pressure on a typical guy - particularly one who works around a lot of women, as I do - to date. The societal expectations of what is "normal" behavior are so pervasive that they're inescapable. I handled it by gaining a lot of weight and blaming my lack of girlfrieng on being fat. I cannot imagine the pressure on a pro basketball player making hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of dollars each season to be a "ladies man."

    I know so many guys who were in Collins' position and actually married the women and had kids. They almost never regret the children, but they always regret misleading their wives/girlfriends in the process. It is also interesting that, in my experience, such relationships rarely last after the age of 30, which is how old Collins was when he broke it off.

    A government that denies gay men the right to bridal registry is a facist state - Margaret Cho

    by CPT Doom on Thu May 02, 2013 at 12:46:24 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  dating & marriage is almost a sport for some (5+ / 0-)

      men. We even call them players.

      What's important is Collins stopped playing games with himself, and thereby others.

    •  My perspective (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      As for remaining single, you have no idea of the pressure on a typical guy - particularly one who works around a lot of women, as I do - to date.
      I'm a single, 29 year old guy and I've never even kissed a girl. That's the result of my own choices. You can talk about societal pressure all you want, but in my opinion you're still responsible for your own actions. We can agree that both the societal pressures are wrong and that people can make selfish choices they shouldn't have made, at the same time.

      The ones who marry and have kids certainly take it further, but on the other hand, as long as they stay, they did commit their lives to the relationship, so they have that in their defense.

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