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View Diary: College Life, Rape and Public Discourse (83 comments)

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  •  You completely missed my point (1+ / 0-)
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    Blue Bell Bookworm

    What if you did NOT say no? What if you didn't say anything?

    Look, if I'm sober, I can better judge a partner who's had a few and isn't saying "yes" or "no". In fact, it's happened, and I think I wrote a diary about it once--she was drunk, I was tipsy, things were going along, nobody was saying "yes" or "no", she wasn't unconscious--in fact, she was moaning--but I was sober enough to figure out that she was a bit too drunk for this. And it's a good thing, because she called me the next morning in a panic. "WTF HAPPENED LAST NIGHT????" I'm very glad I was able to answer that with, "no, that didn't happen."

    If I'm truly drunk? I don't trust my judgement with a partner who is not clearly saying "NO!"

    So, no, I am not at ALL talking about incidents where the woman, drunk sober or otherwise, says "no". That's rape. Period.

    Look, I'm back in college now, at 48 :), but I remember my first attempt back when I was normal age, and I also have friends in school who are of that typical college age. The half-drunk-and-things-just-happen, at that age, is far more common than a, "Yes, do me now!" or "No, stop!" is, especially if it's not a long-established couple who've done the mating dance before (as with you and your husband).

    That's what I was talking about: girl, drunk but conscious, not giving out clear verbal signs. Guy, drunk, not able to interpret the non-verbal signs.

    "Maybe: it's a vicious little word that could slay me"--Sara Bareilles

    by ChurchofBruce on Fri May 03, 2013 at 09:24:20 PM PDT

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