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View Diary: Sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit, and the person who doesn't get it. (33 comments)

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  •  Here's one for breakfast cooks: (23+ / 0-)

    Ovanimity - The precise moment in time when the white of
                       an over medium fried egg is completely done but
                       the yolk is still completely liquid.

    I came up with this one to describe eggs the way my wife eats them, i.e., over medium.  It's amazing how many cooks don't know the difference between over medium and over easy, or despite their knowing and making a valiant attempt, they nevertheless wander aimlessly into the dreaded over hard.

    She absolutely will not eat them unless they are in ovanimity.  She either sends them back or just shoves them aside and eats hash browns and toast.  I am the only one she can rely upon to get them exactly right, and that's because I've had a lot of experience, honed to perfection by the trial and error method.

    She doesn't cook.
                     

    Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed. --Herman Melville

    by ZedMont on Mon May 06, 2013 at 02:30:54 PM PDT

    •  B'eggars (10+ / 0-)

      can't be ch'oozers.

      I love my eggs in ovanimity, too, but I'll eat them however they come out.  I cook for myself.

      •  lol (6+ / 0-)

        I will too, even the slime, so long as I have some toast to sop it up with.  The wife, though, is not a b'eggar, just a ch'oozer.  And I'm happy to indulge her.  It's the least I can do.

        Slime.  Brings back a memory (I knew there was one in there somewhere).  I worked as a line cook during college, and on weekends, there was this fellow who always asked for "soft-scrambled" eggs.

        The first time he asked for them, I did my best and got them what I considered pretty "loose."  The server later came back to the kitchen and told me that he didn't eat them.  He was very polite, paid his bill but left the eggs.

        The next time he came in, he asked for them again, and again I did my best.  This time I just swirled the beaten eggs around a few times without stirring them, and dumped them on the plate.  Same thing.  Server came back and said he had politely paid the bill but had not eaten his eggs.

        The THIRD time, I did one egg just like I did it the second time, but then I poured it into a bowl into which I broke a raw egg and stirred it around before pouring the oozing mess onto a plate, which I had to warn the server to be careful not to tilt lest there be a cleanup on aisle 7.  Server said he lapped up every drop of it and left her a big tip.

        True story.

        Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed. --Herman Melville

        by ZedMont on Mon May 06, 2013 at 03:49:55 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  Ovalibrium? (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      ZedMont, jfromga

      as in equilibrium?

      don't always believe what you think

      by claude on Mon May 06, 2013 at 05:00:49 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Yes, I think that would work, too. (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        claude, jfromga

        I used ovanimity because of equanimity, which comes from the Latin aequus, meaning "balanced."

        You'd have to be really thinking to get this, but Ovalibrium is a good one for another reason.

        Librium is a drug used in alcohol detox, and an old hangover cure is drinking raw eggs.  Ovalibrium.  I like it.

        Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed. --Herman Melville

        by ZedMont on Mon May 06, 2013 at 05:12:17 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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