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View Diary: My Brother has Alzheimer's (38 comments)

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  •  You are forgetting one thing... (13+ / 0-)

    Your brother needs someone to 'be there' to keep his memory alive and to keep his accomplishments front and center and remind him of all of that as he slips away.

    Make amends for all your regrets by being your brother's memory, keeping his accomplishments remembered.

    Make a list if you have to, put it in chronological order.  Make a photo album or scrapbook of photos and put it in chronological order to keep happy times remembered.  If he can't remember family members' names or faces, include them, their full names and pertinent facts about them with the chronology of your brother's life.  Use a genealogy web site if you can't remember some of the dates yourself; much of that stuff is online, or find someone who can get some of the needed info for you if it's a paid web site like Ancestry or the like.

    Right now you need to be absolutely practical.  While your brother still has any part of his brain that functions, find out what he wants for the end of his life.  Does he want a funeral?  A burial?  Cremation?  A private service?  No service at all?  Is he an organ donor on his driver's license?  Does he want his brain donated to science when Alzheimer's finally takes him?  The day will come when Alzheimer's will kill his body as well as his mind, and you need to know these details now while you can still communicate - and write them down or record them or obtain legal documents and get medical papers in order, like a DNR or power of attorney, a will, etc.

    Don't sit around and feel sorry for your brother, and most of all, don't sit around and feel sorry for yourself; you've made this post more about you and your regrets than your brother.  He doesn't need that right now.  If he doesn't have a wife or someone else to do these things for him, he needs you to take care of details he will one day not be able to remember what he said or wanted when his brain was fully functioning, and he needs someone to remember his life for him.

    Be your brother's rememberer....

    I'm sick of attempts to steer this nation from principles evolved in The Age of Reason to hallucinations derived from illiterate herdsmen. ~ Crashing Vor

    by NonnyO on Wed May 08, 2013 at 04:26:23 AM PDT

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