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View Diary: Open thread: When did you choose to be straight? (54 comments)

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  •  here's what i legitimately dont understand (0+ / 0-)

    i'll preface this comment by saying: i don't think anyone is gay or straight, I think there's a tendency to one or the other, but otherwise there's some gradient of bisexuality that covers everyone.

    In my own family I've got an uncle who had a family and kids and then years later says he's gay and lives a different lifestyle.

    my question is: if you're gay, that is, sexually attracted to men and not women, how the hell do you get with a woman, get aroused, have sex, etc.? doesn't the ability to do that disqualify you as a gay?

    I can't imagine, as a man, just being with a man and being able to have sex with him for years because of societal pressure and then turn around and say "okay, i'm gonna have sex with women now."

    And on the same page, I bet you every "straight" guy out there would get erect and enjoy oral sex from a man.

    So I think most people are bisexual, and depending on how things develop as a kid you get tendencies to be sexually attracted to men and women in different ways. So it's not a "choice", consciously, but a development from within the environment.

    But I think it's absurd to phrase this issue as a gay/straight one, when everyone is basically bisexual to different degrees (why, for example, are women more likely to be openly bisexual? because it's socailly acceptable and learned behavior in their environment!!)

    Then again, if you find the gene that determines whether someone will be legitimately sexually attracted to the same gender, then none of this analysis really matters. But that has not been found.

    Deficits don't matter, jobs do.

    by aguadito on Tue May 14, 2013 at 12:58:57 AM PDT

    •  How does a gay man copulate with a woman? (0+ / 0-)

      Same way I copulated with my ex-boyfriend. Closed eyes and imagination, and self-delusion that I was actually happy.
      So no, it doesn't "disqualify" you from being gay. It's a self-identification thing, anyway. You can't really point at someone and say, "you were married to a lady for ten years! You can't be GAY!"

      Also, have you ever heard of the Kinsey scale?
      http://en.wikipedia.org/...

      "We need institutions and cultural norms that make us better than we tend to be. It seems to me that the greatest challenge we now face is to build them." -Sam Harris, neuroscientist

      by MarthaPeregrine on Tue May 14, 2013 at 09:54:38 AM PDT

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      •  it just doesn't make sense to me (0+ / 0-)

        because I personally can't imagine myself having sex with a guy for 10 years just to maintain a facade.

        and yes i'veh eard of the kinsey scale, which is why I think it's dumb to view sexuality as just gay/straight.

        Deficits don't matter, jobs do.

        by aguadito on Tue May 14, 2013 at 04:36:57 PM PDT

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        •  Well, it doesn't have to make sense (0+ / 0-)

          So long as people live and let live, doesn't matter if they don't understand everything about each other I suppose.

          "We need institutions and cultural norms that make us better than we tend to be. It seems to me that the greatest challenge we now face is to build them." -Sam Harris, neuroscientist

          by MarthaPeregrine on Tue May 21, 2013 at 09:17:57 AM PDT

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