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View Diary: Today I'm 50. Here's what I've learned. (187 comments)

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  •  Well here's some data from okcupid- (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    karmsy, Greek Goddess

    http://blog.okcupid.com/...

    Seems that men on that site do prefer women significantly younger than themselves- not sure how typical their attitude is. Maybe there are better polls out there, this is just what came up on google.

    •  Haven't checked out the link. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Greek Goddess

      Don't know whether the gathering of the data, represents a "sampling bias," which would serve to cast doubt on the finding, itself.

      Whether the finding is flawed, or represents the preferences of "average" men well (and I wonder about that), there's a problem.

      There's no denying the results are troubling.

      It's here they got the range/ and the machinery for change/ and it's here they got the spiritual thirst. --Leonard Cohen

      by karmsy on Wed May 15, 2013 at 05:10:59 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Maybe the appropriate interpretation of the data (5+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Greek Goddess, ladybug53, karmsy, Chi, zooecium

      is that the majority of men who utilize OKCupid are assholes...?

      Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. -George Carlin

      -7.88, -7.64

      by socindemsclothing on Wed May 15, 2013 at 06:23:01 PM PDT

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      •  No idea- I did check their wiki page- (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        karmsy, Greek Goddess

        seems like basically an online dating and social networking site. Maybe more open emphasis on physical attractiveness- but let's face it, that's usually a factor whether or not people state it openly.

        •  I know a few people who have been very happy (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Greek Goddess, karmsy, gramofsam1

          with the outcome of their time spent on OkCupid, so there are at least a few gems strewn among the a-holes.  

          I've never had great success there...it's a free site, and free sites have a tendency to attract people who are only partially, if at all, invested in the pursuit of a long-term, monogamous relationship.  A lot of the guys there, at least IME, are dipping their toe in the dating pool while trolling for casual sex.  I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who's serious about dating.

          Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. -George Carlin

          -7.88, -7.64

          by socindemsclothing on Wed May 15, 2013 at 06:57:33 PM PDT

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          •  Well I'm a fan of match.com- (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Greek Goddess

            not for myself, online dating was way in the future when I was single. But my daughter met her husband there 8 years ago, and he's a pretty terrific guy. The other guys she'd met there were, in her opinion, pretty nice guys too. She was very honest about being interested in a serious relationship, and she'd already adopted two kids, so maybe that screened out a lot of players.

          •  Two comments... (2+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Greek Goddess, zooecium

            1. I may be an outlier- I met my wife on OKCupid when I was in my high 30's.  I tried match.com, and you don't get what you pay more for.  I used OKCupid. I can argue that I stopped dating after that (got married) b/c OKCupid had a better matching algorithm. Am I representative? Who knows?

            2. As far as the statistics of older men who are dating, it's a self-selected pool, not random. This group excludes all of the men who are not dating at 40 or 50 or 60  b/c they're married or in a stable relationship. Of course there are bound to be more men in that group not interested in or maybe not capable of or for whatever reason just not yet ready for a serious relationship. There are also more women in that category as well. More, but not all. Some move on to being ready for a stable relationship, and some do not. It's probably not the website so much as the situation.

            •  For the record, (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              socindemsclothing

              I met my husband on Plenty of Fish, another free dating site. Well be married two years in July, and I couldn't be happier that I took a chance on love online!

              Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead. ~K. Vonnegut

              by Greek Goddess on Thu May 16, 2013 at 01:25:27 PM PDT

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            •  Outlier, maybe...but it proves the point that you (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              Greek Goddess

              can always find a gem if you dig through enough muck.  I'm sure there are plenty of great people on OkCupid, etc., and it's always nice to read about another success story.  

              I think women just have to brace themselves for the onslaught of undesirables if they're going to go that route.  And be courageous enough to have high standards.  A 40-year-old guy who wants to date women 25-42 is a shallow d-bag no matter if he's the CEO of Philanthropy Inc and rescues abandoned puppies and kittens in his spare time.  I would give anything to go back in time and beat that into the head of my younger self.  

              Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. -George Carlin

              -7.88, -7.64

              by socindemsclothing on Thu May 16, 2013 at 07:12:59 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

      •  Tee hee! n/t (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        socindemsclothing, karmsy, zooecium

        Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead. ~K. Vonnegut

        by Greek Goddess on Wed May 15, 2013 at 07:40:50 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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