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View Diary: On Religion, Sexuality, and Redefining the Closet (58 comments)

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  •  Gay in conservatives churches still die.. (18+ / 0-)

    It's still really bad in Conservative Churches.  Parents still think homosexuality can be "cured".  They soak the alters of churces with the blood of their gay children.

    Here is a sad story going around on facebook right now:

    ...(story of young son coming out)...
    We said all the things that we thought loving Christian parents who believed the Bible to be the Word of God should say:
     We love you. We will ALWAYS love you. And this is hard. REALLY hard. But we know what God says about this, and so you are going to have to make some really difficult choices.
    ...
    We love you. We will ALWAYS love you. But if you are going to follow Jesus, holiness is your only option. You are going to have to choose to follow Jesus, no matter what. And since you know what the Bible says, and since you want to follow God, embracing your sexuality is NOT an option.
    ...
    (leading to son trying his best, going to counseling and camps, and finally failing and eventually running away and doing drugs)
    We had – unintentionally – taught Ryan to hate his sexuality. And since sexuality cannot be separated from the self, we had taught Ryan to hate himself.
    ...
    (eventual reconcialiation with family, and then death to drug overdose).
    It's very sad, and the parents do not shirk the blame for the death of their son.  The comments are brutal, some all but calling the parents murderers; many directly calling them bad parents.   I contributed the following:


    lostboyjim June 5, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    Thank you for sharing your story, freeheart. Please understand that many of the people angrily posting here here had lived that story, or are living it now. I’ve tried to write this reply a few times now, because I want to share your grief, not add to it. Many of us have walked your son’s path.

    We are generations of prodigal sons, dearly loved by our family, but never accepted quite for who we are, but rather for who we could be if we just prayed harder, denied ourselves more. We grow up to stories of Jesus loving us NO MATTER WHAT; we are given a dream if finding a perfect mate — “for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united…” only to then be told we must forsake that dream of love and unity with another soul, and that God’s love is very conditional indeed.

    The grace of Piety and the sin of Pride weave so seductively to religious families, making us prodigals reach ever hopefully and hopelessly for an impossibly goal. We know we are loved. But we are not accepted.

    We are generations of prodigals, leaving home because we cannot bear to stay. And instead of having that part of our life filled with God (because we are told over and over that he can’t love us as we are), and family (because we can never shape ourselves into something we never were), and friends (because the Church does not welcome us), where can we turn? If we limp home, the fatted calf is slain and we are welcome with open arms…for still, we are of course loved. But we are still what we have become.

    And religous leaders dare say that our homosexuality is why we are so miserable and unhappy. Our blood stains the alters of churches across this nation, and they dare? Pride and Piety were the downfall of the Pharisees, and so it is with our modern teachers.

    So, there's that.

    Today we are seeing a new generation of gay youth that are NOT bound by this "common thread of being in the closet".  They are raised by families that accept them for who they are, and they don't think it odd that they like men. They never went through the loss of religioun and family that so many of us went through.   I have great hope for these lucky men who don't have to face the loss of family.  But there are still plentyof homosexuals  in religious families who become prodigals, and who die because of it.

    Minority rights should never be subject to majority vote.

    by lostboyjim on Thu Jun 06, 2013 at 06:03:12 PM PDT

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