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View Diary: What Does Being Gay In America Mean? (72 comments)

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  •  WOW! I love what you wrote here. (5+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    sfbob, susans, foresterbob, Doug in SF, LuvSet

    You nailed it and I'm very thankful. Of course, I generally agree.  It's not about having a posse of dozens of friends; it's about having a few close and real friendships that last. Quality is indeed more important than quantity.

    RE: tennis groups and finding out who your friends are

    True that. I've spent years volunteering for everything under the sun and so very few of those I tried connecting with ever stuck around long. Usually, the friendships ended as soon as the activity itself did which is a damn shame.

    RE: role models that are not all white & privileged.

    Hell to the Yes.  Most of my friends couldn't care less when Jason Collins came out in the NBA. (Personally, I was ecstatic!). Now, if only we can get a few NFL and MLB players to come out, then we'll have a real sea change in popular culture. There is room and a real need to have a multicultural group of positive gay role models from across all areas of pop culture--from Logo to the NFL to Hollywood, Silicon Valley and well beyond.

    RE: Grindr

    I can honestly say I've never used it and am damn glad for it.  Don't get me wrong; that's not a moral judgment. But to me, it was merely an online version of what already has been going on for decades in bars and bathhouses. There's always a place for that, but that shouldn't be the template for every gay male interaction. There is a great deal to be said for intimate friendships that don't revolve around partying and sex.

    Being gay shouldn't primarily be about what you wear or who you're sleeping with. At least, it often feels like material possessions and sexual conquests are overly focused on in the gay male world. Sad to say...

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