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View Diary: Solving Rape? - A Very Short Statement For Those Who Just Don't Get It! (358 comments)

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  •  And various things are happening all the time that (6+ / 0-)

    tell men rape isn't such a big deal.  Such as football players raping and not being charged because they're football players.  Such as frequent sexual assaults being perpetrated and subsequently ignored in the military.  Just two very recent examples of the mixed message our society sends out every single day to men.

    Good for you for teaching men rape is bad.  But you providing that lesson is hardly going to overcome all the messages the other consequences or lack of sends out.  It seems like a very strange thing to get personally "challenged" about.

    Besides which, I think if you've been paying attention and are in fact so in tune with the issue of rape, you'd readily realize and acknowledge that women are, in fact, frequently blamed when they are raped.  Not quite as much in the last few decades as used to be the case, but still plenty.  Not only blamed, but often ostracized.  To pretend that's just about "teaching" them to be prepared and cautious is something more than being "personally challenged". (and yes, we certainly want to keep our womenfold cautious, don't we?)

    To be honest, I'm not thrilled at the idea of someone with ideas like yours being the one teaching men to not rape.  I'd much rather it be someone like the diarist.  

    "If you trust you are not critical; if you are critical you do not trust" by our own Dauphin

    by gustynpip on Mon Jun 17, 2013 at 01:48:31 PM PDT

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    •  Egads. I'm not sure how to respond. (0+ / 0-)

      It feels like you're trying to provoke me.  I'm not sure why.

      I didn't personally participate in the women's breakout group since they are separated by gender.  Maybe they didn't talk about anything women could do with regards to preventing rape.

      However, I'd be shocked if they didn't.

      Is that the idea that has you worried about me?

      And yes, the men's group is a bizarre mess of confused messages. Most don't really even understand the legal definition of rape at the outset.

      I'm not sure how much effect it has, but I'd rather have tried than not. They're young and some good information early can have an effect, I hope.

      So perhaps it was a little narcissistic to feel "personally challenged" when folks say, "why don't we teach men not to rape?" Welcome to the internet, we're all a little narcissistic here.


      "Jersey_Boy" was taken.

      by New Jersey Boy on Mon Jun 17, 2013 at 07:29:37 PM PDT

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      •  What has me worried about you is that you seem, (0+ / 0-)

        both by this comment and others, to have little grasp of how much responsibility to avoid being raped is already placed on women, how men have been excused for raping because of the way a woman was dressed or how late she was out or that she'd gone out with the asshole and should have known better.  You seem to think that "teaching" us even more that we have to live in constant fear and that if we are so foolish as to want to just be able to live a normal life - or what is normal for men, well, we just have to be taught that if we do that, it'll be our fault.  I don't imagine you actually meant that, but think about it a bit.  Try not to be narcissistic about a subject that really has nothing to do with you, except in regard to your attitude about it.

        You have no concept how much women are already taught that.  

        Call that "provoking" you if you choose.  I call it having little sympathy with someone who is teaching men yet seems to have made little effort to obtain knowledge about what women are taught and how much their lives and decisions are already centered around trying to protect themselves.

        "If you trust you are not critical; if you are critical you do not trust" by our own Dauphin

        by gustynpip on Tue Jun 18, 2013 at 06:02:33 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Wow. You have projected quite a bit onto my posts. (0+ / 0-)

          I don't think I'll convince you that I'm not the person you've decided I am.

          Maybe you'll re-read my posts and think differently. Or maybe you'll be confused by them and ask for clarification.

          I'm not going to participate in your casting me as some sort of villian. I volunteered for a rape awareness seminar for college first years.

          That's it. If you aren't a college first year in a "rape awareness seminar" then I'm not actually trying to teach you anything, so you need not feel condescended to.

          Talk about narcissism.

          "Jersey_Boy" was taken.

          by New Jersey Boy on Tue Jun 18, 2013 at 09:08:01 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

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