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View Diary: Massive Heart Attack Has Turned My Life Upside Down. I Am Barren to Life`s Feelings (202 comments)

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  •  That's not it at all (0+ / 0-)

    I don't know them because of who they have become. And they truly are insane.

    I have tried and tried and tried. Kast year, at this time, I sent my mother a well worded and very, very kind letter. Sixteen pages of thoughtfulness crafted to put any differences behind us.

    I received it back, unopened with the words "return to sender" and "delivery refused".

    I did not speak to my mother after that. She made no attempt to call me. I knew she was so stubborn that I would have to make contact before she would. I was determined no to call her.

    But when I ended up in the hospital with near death number two, I finally called her on the day I thought would be my last.

    I have tried since then. Yet, in the year that has passed, she hasn't once offered up an explanation of why she returned the letter. And, nothing else I do seems to be of any consequence.

    I've had it.

    •  matador hey there (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      I do not know what to say. I took the liberty to go to your profile. You are an extremely intelligent person, I can see by your writings that you are not someone with mental problems.

      The reason I venture to say this is because I cannot see how such a person with your mentality can accept this, and then continue to hound them as if you demand that they love you.

      Hey, well, I am saying this as if I were in your shoes and had a family that was treating me like yours is treating you.

      I would tell them "fuck you!" all of you. And live my life the way I wanted, without them. Now remember, this is how "I" would do it.

      Because you have not said what you ever did to them, so that they feel this way, I do not know what to say matador.

      Feel free to continue writing here if you need to vent. I will listen, just like so many have listened to me.

      Old men tell same old stories

      by Ole Texan on Wed Jul 03, 2013 at 09:10:37 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  I'm not "Hounding them". (0+ / 0-)

        I haven't spoken to my sisters since my fathers funeral, three years ago. I have barely spoken to my mother.

        It wasn't what I did, but what my wife did. During near death number one, she was told by the doctor that only two visitors could see me a day. And they were to be very, very quiet. My heart rate was 160 plus beats a minute and, sedated,, I would become very agitated and my heart rate would go up when people spoke in the room. My wife chose herself and my son as the ones who could visit. This period only lasted a few days and then the rules became more relaxed for all visitors. My family took the visitation rules very personally. They also told the doctors and the nurses they thought perhaps my wife was poisoning me.

        When my father died, they said my wife was not welcome at the funeral. I attended unaccompanied.

        I have told them that none of their allegations are  true. I cannot convince them. They think their actions are perfectly reasonable. They're not.

        Ironic that people who seemed so upset about not being able to visit me have made no attempt to see me since. That has been very revealing to me. I am better off without them but still, it hurts Tex.

        •  matador, I came back to (0+ / 0-)

          the diary this morning thur and find your comment. I am sorry for whatever has been happening to you. It seems that indeed there is a complete breakdown in communications with your own family.

          With all my due respect to you matador, reading what you say in this latest comment tells me to back away from trying to give you advise on something I know nothing about.

          I am sorry as I have said. You seem to be very intelligent and well versed on issues you write about. Perhaps you should seek professional help with someone who deals with these type of family quarrels. I cannot help you matador even though you never asked for my help.

          I can only tell you to stay alert and not to do something stupid that you may later regret.. Peace matador.

          Old men tell same old stories

          by Ole Texan on Thu Jul 04, 2013 at 09:22:34 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  You've already helped (0+ / 0-)

            I appreciate your kindness. Me, a total stranger to you and you've taken the time and your trouble to hear me out.

            I am seeing a professional. Not sure it's helping, but I do go for help.

            My family has condemned me to a living hell on earth for which I have done nothing to deserve and for which there is seemingly no relief. These were people I cared about and who I thought cared about me. I used to think my opinion was really valued.

            All I can do is to focus on the good things in my life and in good people. As I said, you have been of great help. Thank you.

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