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View Diary: The Grieving Room: If only s/he were alive to see this (20 comments)

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  •  I think with respect to my late husband, (2+ / 0-)
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    s l o w loris, StateOfGrace

    my main thought has been to be glad he wasn't around to see many of the events that have come to pass since his death. He would have been really happy about the demise of DOMA and Calif. Prop 8, but would have been screaming in rage at his computer at the desecration of the Voting Rights Act. It's funny how I remember his voice best from when he was yelling at something which infuriated him that he read about on the internet. The poor dog would come into my room, all anxious because "Daddy" was angry about something, and I'd reassure Sasuke that he was "a good boy, a good dog, Daddy's not mad at you."

    Actually, there have been two major trains of thought uppermost in my mind today. One of them is remembering how much in shock I still was a year ago on my birthday (which is tomorrow, the 2nd) though I did have enough presence of mind to secure my Social Security survivor's benefit, which I had fortuitously reached the age to qualify for, just that soon after my husband's unexpected passing.

    The other is sorrow and grief about the loss of the Hot Shot crew in AZ. One of my sisters lives in Prescott, and her younger two sons, one of whom is a firefighter himself, though not a Hot Shot, knew some of the deceased firefighters. So this has not been a particularly easy day for me to get through.

    Heavy emotional load today. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, though I'm going to try to forget it's my birthday. Nothing exciting planned anyway. Maybe I should figure out someplace to run away to for the day....

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