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  •  You can laugh about that, but I people who (4+ / 0-)

    get divorced because "we grew apart", or "I wasn't happy" do a lot more harm to marriage than gay people who want to be together.

    Frankly, the very best thing anybody could do for the sanctity of marriage is to get a bit old-fashioned and NOT GET MARRIED in such a freaking hurry.  Marriage doesn't hurt marriage. Divorce hurts marriage.  Not to mention kids.

    LG: You know what? You got spunk. MR: Well, Yes... LG: I hate spunk!

    by dinotrac on Fri Jul 05, 2013 at 07:36:30 AM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  Or have kids right away (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      dinotrac, TexasTom, 1toughlady

      or buy that huge and expensive house and car and accessories because it's what you're supposed to do. So many people plunge themselves into what they believe to be the "proper" life track so early in life before they've had the chance to figure out what the proper path is for THEM (the discovery of which, of course, is itself a life path). We have such a cookie cutter culture.

      "Liberty without virtue would be no blessing to us" - Benjamin Rush, 1777

      by kovie on Fri Jul 05, 2013 at 08:26:06 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Works for some folks (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        1toughlady, Josiah Bartlett, dinotrac

        My sister got married at 19; by the time she was 22 she'd had both her kids and her husband got snipped. When her kids got older, she went back to college and got her degree, and had a successful career. They hit their 40s, both kids were grown and out of the house, and they've had the past 20 years to enjoy their own lives, explore outside interests (my brother-in-law tried wine-making for a time, they now volunteer at a local winery), and can enjoy their retirement with their children and grandchildren.

        But what worked for my sister and her husband doesn't necessarily work for everyone -- waiting till Mr. Scribe and I grew up for each other (he was 35, I was 32 when we finally got married after 4 years of dating) worked for us too, or at least has for the past 22 years.

        There's only one rule that I know of, babies -- goddammit, you've got to be kind. -- Kurt Vonnegut

        by Cali Scribe on Fri Jul 05, 2013 at 10:54:45 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  A lot has to do with maturity (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          dinotrac

          Or the potential for and willingness to acquire it. Some 19 year olds are more mature than some 40 year olds. Others quickly become mature when life does its thing. But many don't handle these pressures well, with bad consequences for their children and themselves. Or, they handle them, but just barely, and lose years of their lives spinning their wheels just to make ends meet and don't get to enjoy life much.

          Perhaps it was easier for people to get married young and get established in the past, but with today's economy and lack of opportunities, it might make more sense for many these days to delay getting married or at least having kids for a few years, until they're financially and emotionally ready for that extra pressure. Of course, people don't usually plan out their lives that way, either going with gut instinct or doing what family or local tradition dictates.

          "Liberty without virtue would be no blessing to us" - Benjamin Rush, 1777

          by kovie on Fri Jul 05, 2013 at 11:06:41 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

    •  Divorce like Abortion and birth control are (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      glitterscale

      very important in terms of women's personal freedoms.

      I get the joke, but at the same time, I don't want to just leave it as a joke.

      Religion may pretend that marriage is a religious thing, but really it's a contract that hammers out division of property, child rearing duties, inheritance, etc., Anything religious put on the act of marrying after the fact is on the individuals getting married.

      I would rather people have the power to get divorced. Making two people stay together in a dysfunctional or loveless marriage is cruel and unnecessary.

      •  That's how the Puritans saw it (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        dinotrac, 1toughlady

        They saw marriage as a legal agreement, not a religious rite.

      •  It's not a joke and has nothing to do with the (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        1toughlady

        power of divorce.

        It has everything to do with the commitment to marriage.

        It should not be entered into lightly. When there are kids, it should not be dissolved lightly. I consider kids to be pretty important.  They are a big reason why my wife and I are still together. Not unhappily, by the way, but it took a lot of work to get here.

        When a marriage makes no sense to save, it should be ended.

        LG: You know what? You got spunk. MR: Well, Yes... LG: I hate spunk!

        by dinotrac on Fri Jul 05, 2013 at 09:54:44 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  I'll agree that divorce is important (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        1toughlady, dinotrac

        but I do sometimes think people are too quick to head for the lawyers at the first sign of problems. There's something to be said for trying to work through the issues first before calling it quits, especially when there are kids involved.

        There's only one rule that I know of, babies -- goddammit, you've got to be kind. -- Kurt Vonnegut

        by Cali Scribe on Fri Jul 05, 2013 at 11:02:28 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  Waiting period on marriage licenses... (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      1toughlady, dinotrac

      ...preferably, about six months.  Apply for the license, and you can get married six months later.

      That would do more for "protecting the sanctity of marriage" than any of the homophobic crap being pushed on the right.

      Political Compass: -6.75, -3.08

      by TexasTom on Fri Jul 05, 2013 at 12:09:24 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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