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View Diary: Sorry. (243 comments)

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  •  This is a personal pie-fight in a pressure cooker (11+ / 0-)

    and the pressure does make it harder in every direction.

    Trying to see it from all sides, you might be oversimplifying when you say "he decided to start this". Yes, he has written two diaries, he started that. But he felt that other people started it, by talking about him behind his back.

    It never should have gone this far, it never should have been this public. commonmass has embarrassed himself and others, and has attacked some bystanders who meant him no harm. So there are apologies owed, to some at least. If I were commonmass I'd retreat, talk to my best friends in private and, entirely in my own time, I'd write emails to those I felt truly sorry for hurting. And it might take me several days to calm down enough to know who I owed apologies to. Even as a child, I hated it when adults told me I had to say sorry, when I wasn't. But the apologies I did write, I would put enough care in that the person at the other end could see exactly what I felt, and how much they meant to me.

    This diary here, I don't think it's much of an apology. It's too easy, too short, unclear and impersonal. But I don't see why commonmass owes anyone a public apology - especially not at the behest of uninjured third parties. I'm not sure what apology he could write now, without getting mean comments complaining that it wasn't gracious enough, and without having people grumble in private about how horrible he is.

    Why should he apologize in public to people who spoke of him in private and removed the evidence? Why should he be publicly shamed further, when he's already lost a lot of people's respect? I'm absolutely not saying commonmass is blameless, or redeemed here. I just think he's paid heavily for his mistakes already and, sadly, most of that payment was spent on public shame instead of private reconciliation.

    People who care enough about commonmass to still see him as a friend who made some very human errors, should talk to him in private. Or wait to hear from him. And he should be big enough, in his own time, to give his real friends the benefit of the doubt.

    "Every man has a right to utter what he thinks truth" Samuel Johnson

    by Brecht on Thu Jul 04, 2013 at 12:09:34 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

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