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View Diary: What Do You Think Of This Racial Comment? (77 comments)

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  •  The other night when I was at the club (1+ / 0-)
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    Throw The Bums Out

    I had negotiated BDSM play, specifically flogging, with an acquaintance of mine, who happens (beside being an insanely good-looking guy with a great body) to be black.  I do not care about race, gender, or presentation of the people I play with; I care about clear consent and staying within mutually agreed upon boundaries.

    And as we got into the scene, about 1/3 of the way in, he says loudly, in a very heavy accent (assumed, cause he doesn't talk that way the rest of the time) "Oh, massa, don' beat Kunta Kinte no' mo'!"

    The people watching laughed, but it was the uneasy laughter where you aren't comfortable with it.

    I tossed the flogger down and said, "I'm done." He wasn't tied down, so I just turned and walked out of the room, and told my husband to pick my toys up and get them out of the way while I simmered down.

    Yeah, the joke was there to be made, white woman using a whip (however nice and soft) on a black man. And HE may be good with introducing that into it....but I felt extremely violated because he didn't ask me first about introducing it. Cause the way I had been dealing with all the historical baggage of topping black people was to ignore the fact that they were black, or at most to consider it a tertiary feature... less important than his gorgeous smile or her amazing pain tolerance. I admit I have racial baggage left, I'm forty. I do my best with it. And now I've got more. Or am aware of more, or something.

    When you come to find how essential the comfort of a well-kept home is to the bodily strength and good conditions, to a sound mind and spirit, and useful days, you will reverence the good housekeeper as I do above artist or poet, beauty or genius.

    by Alexandra Lynch on Thu Jul 04, 2013 at 01:24:58 PM PDT

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