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View Diary: Write On! Do you want these stakes well done? (60 comments)

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  •  lol! (10+ / 0-)

    Beautiful.Something exactly like that.

    Except now you've iced the protag. He may've had it coming, but.

    -9.0, -8.3 "Remember, a writer writes. Always." --Throw Momma from the Train

    by SensibleShoes on Thu Jul 18, 2013 at 05:18:25 PM PDT

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    •  Or not (6+ / 0-)

      Excessive flatulence, for example, may have been the inevitable outcome, and in the meantime, it's just more torturing the hero.....

    •  Don't be so sure (9+ / 0-)
             One of the peculiarities of the Dread Least Grebe is its association with fabulous gems. It's not because of a desire for flashy things (though that doesn't hurt), nor as a lure for attracting female Dread Least Grebes, nor even as a 'nest egg' for retirement. (Dread Least Grebes have soured on the whole idea of retirement planning since the 401-K debacle of 1547 O.G.)

            No, it's necessary for their diet. Dread Least Grebes have one virtue - they eat some of the most unlikely fare imaginable: Grunt Beetles, Canterious Bobble Flies, and even Saw-toothed Iron-clawed Swamp Mosquitos. (Not because they're particularly  tasty - more for the challenge.)

          The problem is, how to render such fare digestible without teeth. Dread Least Grebes cope as many birds do, with a crop. A portion of their throat is developed into a sac-like arrangement which they fill with stones which are then massaged by powerful throat muscles - which has the effect of grinding up any food mixed in with the stones.

           D.L.G.s prefer gem stones because of their durability - and the stones become more valuable because they take on a high polish from such use. When a Dread Least Grebe comes across a especially well-suited gem stone, it is understandably possessive...

             Which takes us back to our protagonist: bagged, flatulent, flaming mad (literally), and about to cut loose.

           It's generally not a good idea to mix flammable gasses with open flame in a confined area, even one with incredibly high tensile strength, like a Duffle of Least Resistance. What happened next was neither desired nor anticipated by any of the parties involved. There are times when it is not advisable to mix biology with chemistry and physics.

             By this time, the Dread Least Grebe's wonky digestive system was in full overload. The explosion of the first emission of flatulence sent the Grebe rocketing upward at high speed, still in the Duffle. The next blast blew the Duffle clear of the Grebe. The third caused a bit of blowback, which saw the Fabulous Jewel ejected from the Grebe at even higher speed. After that, it's not entirely clear what happened.

             When last seen, the Grebe was continuing to accelerate thanks to the propulsive effect of a digestive system that had decided all on its own to keep pumping out flatulence as fast as it could, with burning feathers (and the Grebe's own blasts of flame) providing an ignition source. The percussive bangs alternated with an increasingly desperate honking receding into the distance.

          The jewel had departed the scene on its own trajectory.

            The callow youth and his stout companion were left stunned and slightly singed.

             After a time, Bodrin said "Dragon."

              "Hmm?" queried Clarse.

           "We'll say your eyebrows got singed off by a dragon. It's a lot more impressive that admitting it was done by a bloody waterfowl."

             After another timeless pause, Clarse observed vaguely "I wonder if that's how the legend of the Phoenix got started?"

      "No special skill, no standard attitude, no technology, and no organization - no matter how valuable - can safely replace thought itself."

      by xaxnar on Thu Jul 18, 2013 at 06:39:08 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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