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View Diary: My father "disowns" my husband because he was raised on welfare (300 comments)

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  •  If your father has disowned your husband, what (2+ / 0-)
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    kayak58, ladybug53

    does that mean in terms of your relationship with your father?  I adored my kind, gentle, strong, compassionate, generous father but if he had disowned my husband or yelled at him or me like your dad did, I would have distanced myself from my father and I would not be speaking to him at all.

    I know I would be expecting an apology from my father before I would agree to see him or talk to him again.
    I would tell my dad that he has a right to his opinions but his words and behavior have consequences.

    I miss my dad everyday and he and my husband became the best of friends. I am so grateful for that and I will forever be grateful to my husband for how he was so good to my parents especially after they got sick.  They both died several years ago in their early 7os and my husband took the news almost as hard as I did.

    My husband's mother disowned him because he dared to get married. She wanted him to live at home with her and take care of her. My parents accepted him with open arms and unconditional love.

    Hell I get furious and tell off relatives or friends who do not treat my husband with respect. I am very protective of him as he is with me. My husband is the most important person in my life and i make no bones about it to even my sister with whom I am very close.  

    My husband comes first and if anyone attacks him verbally or puts him down, they will lose me in the process.

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    by wishingwell on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 07:50:47 AM PDT

    •  I have distanced myself (1+ / 0-)
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      In the past, I would get excited about his phone calls. I wanted to know how he was doing. Now I dread the phone ringing, in case it's him. We've spoken once since. I think he knows something is amiss, and can't figure out what, and I'm angry enough I know that I can't speak about it until I calm down.  

      •  You might even want to consider writing him (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

        a letter after you are calmer and letting him know that he crossed a line by verbally attacking your husband and insulting your husband. Let him know there are consequences to his behavior.  
        As there are some parents who think they get away with insulting their adult children, their sons in law and daughters in law with few consequences.   They think they can just disown a spouse of a child and all will be Ok.  

        In the end, I think your dad will end up respecting the boundaries you set and how you stand up for your husband, protect and defend your husband. And if he does not, you will know you stood up for and defended your husband. And your marriage will stronger than ever as a result.That is what happened to my marriage, it is stronger than ever because my husband took a stand with his mother and he made it clear I come first and i am his top priority.

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        by wishingwell on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 02:37:35 PM PDT

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