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View Diary: My father "disowns" my husband because he was raised on welfare (300 comments)

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  •  there's more to it-- (4+ / 0-)

    your husband brought himself up from nothing, went to college and got his doctorate degree, and your father is a trucker. You and your husband borrowed money to get a better education and your father is a trucker. You and your husband have a bright future ahead of you, with much success coming through hard work. And you father is a trucker. He will be in that cab until he retires. He did not try to get a better education, he did not try to work his way up, to a better position. You father is using ignorance, justified with  fake religion, to hide the fact that he sees his failures very plainly, when he sees you and your husband. He knows he is in a dead in job and it grinds on him, so he takes it out on those who are going places in life...

    "Whenever the people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own government" T. Jefferson

    by azureblue on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 07:54:38 AM PDT

    •  My father once owned a construction business (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      ladybug53, TiaRachel

      During the Reagan years it died because the economy crashed. My family went bankrupt. The collectors took everything but $1000 worth of stuff. I gave up clothes, toys, etc. My parents gave up more. Where I grew up, if you aren't a farmer or rancher, you either worked in the strip mines in Idaho or drive a truck. He got a job driving truck, and has driven ever since. With terrible pay, it's difficult to move up. These were (and still are) family owned businesses--it's not like they want their drivers moving up to management. That's just the way it is.

      •  and there it is (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        ladybug53, TiaRachel, JVolvo

        your father feels the hopelessness of his position, feels the responsibility of taking care of family members who, if circumstances were better, could be earning their own way, so he lashes out at your husband in displaced rage, fueled by daily doses of right wing radio. Reganomics ruined your father's construction business, and put him in his rut, and he will never admit that is the basis for why he is in his position today. Your husband did what your father could not, but somehow, your husband has become the whipping boy for where your father is today.

        As it is, you can't react to what your father is saying -what you are hearing is years of rage, bitterness, and frustration. You can't take it personally, either. You can say to him to be civil to your husband in your conversations, just as he expects you to be civil to him. There is a small chance that if you are kind towards him, he will realize that he has been fooled, and he will change. Maybe he won't but, should he suddenly pass on, you will be able to say in your heart that you understood why he was like that, and you tried to see around that.

        "Whenever the people are well-informed, they can be trusted with their own government" T. Jefferson

        by azureblue on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 12:13:47 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  That's the problem working for mom and pop (0+ / 0-)

        If you don't have the same last name as the sign out front - you're never moving up.

        If the pilot's good, see, I mean if he's reeeally sharp, he can barrel that baby in so low... oh you oughta see it sometime. It's a sight. A big plane like a '52... varrrooom! Its jet exhaust... frying chickens in the barnyard!

        by Major Kong on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 02:46:22 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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