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View Diary: My father "disowns" my husband because he was raised on welfare (300 comments)

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  •  I'm afraid Zebra' right (3+ / 0-)

    Silence = consent for these people. So you at least have to push back, and push back hard.  "Teatrolls" are very big on appearances, and especially appearing strong. So they'll try any trick in the book to make you feel guilty for being right, and you'll have to just keep going as if they'd said nothing.  Easier said than done, I know, but that's how they are.

    For instance, if you threaten to cut off contact, he will certainly accuse you of being uppity and thinking you're too good to keep in touch the likes of him.  You can short-circuit this often by pointing out that he's the one being a snob, and pointing it out FIRST to set the stage.  

    Every woman is the boss of what goes into her vagina, and what comes out. Not you, not me, not the GOP.

    by nominalize on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 12:47:54 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  Finally, someone who gets it. (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      betterdemsonly, nominalize

      Shiobe's father has been conditioned to NEED to feel superior to others, to find some of 'those people' to look down upon and disparage. Some on this site have insisted that Shiobe needs to show forgiveness, but this guy suddenly snapped at his SON-IN-LAW. When a teabagger is that far gone, he/she will only see forgiveness as weakness and capitulation.

      If Shiobe wants to break through that conditioning, the ice-water-in-the-face impact of cutting off contact may be her only hope.

      •  Not to mention, (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        betterdemsonly

        What's the point of forgiving someone who hasn't sought forgiveness?  Otherwise, you're just saying you're over it, which is something else entirely.

        I'm not a fan of the idea that forgiveness is weak, but conservatives certainly are.  When you try to engage with someone, they will try to fit what you say into their mindset.  That's human psychology.  So whatever message you intend to send out with forgiveness, you have to keep in mind the message they are actually going to register if you want to know what the reaction is going to be.  Otherwise, you and they will not be on the same page, and whatever effect you hope to have will glance right off their cranium.
         

        Every woman is the boss of what goes into her vagina, and what comes out. Not you, not me, not the GOP.

        by nominalize on Wed Aug 07, 2013 at 10:27:06 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

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