Skip to main content

View Diary: It's my birthday (169 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  And I've parented three teenagers- (7+ / 0-)

    so completely wrong about me too.

    •  well I guess we have some perfect parents here (0+ / 0-)

      With perfect kids.
      Who have never found occassion to feel exasperated by their children.
      I never believed they existed. And to be honest, I still don't.
      Me thinks you are a bit too holy.

      In any case, I know EXACTLY the feeling shared by the comics author. I never beat my kid or mistreated him in ANY way. And I resent the implication that someone who would understand the feeling expressed in the comic is somehow a "lesser parent" than you.
      screw that shit.

      •  And you don't get it (8+ / 0-)

        We're not saints and you're not a lesser parent.

        Yes, people have these feelings and emotions.

        Maybe we should be thanking the author for giving us the opportunity to talk about this subject. Sometimes that's useful.

        But at the same time demanding that we all see the humor and ignore the pain seems wrong.

        Spite is the ranch dressing Republicans slather on their salad of racism

        by ontheleftcoast on Tue Aug 20, 2013 at 05:24:14 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  well, I'm not demanding people see the humor (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Nowhere Man, aitchdee

          It just seemed to me that many were missing the point. and I thought to try clear up the misunderstanding.
          I truely feel shaken by the experience tonight over this comic. I honestly don't know what to say at this point.

          •  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder (3+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Nowhere Man, Smoh, aitchdee

            works both ways. Not everyone saw this way you did, that's obvious.

            Does that mean you're wrong? Not in the least. Your interpretation of the cartoon, the emotional impact it made on you, is completely understandable. Hell, maybe even more evolved and nuanced.

            I simply started this thread by stating it left me feeling differently. No insult to the cartoonist who I actually admire. But an honest assessment of how it made me feel.

            And, ultimately, that what a cartoon is supposed to do -- make you feel something. This one didn't make me feel good and I said so.

            Spite is the ranch dressing Republicans slather on their salad of racism

            by ontheleftcoast on Tue Aug 20, 2013 at 06:29:48 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

        •  OtLc - that's exactly right. (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          aitchdee

          Cats are better than therapy, and I'm a therapist.

          by Smoh on Wed Aug 21, 2013 at 12:53:20 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

      •  Nice job putting words in my mouth- (7+ / 0-)

        never said I was perfect, or that my kids were perfect, or that I do not understand exasperation. My first son is profoundly autistic and did not sleep for days and nights at a time (which meant we didn't either), so I understand exasperation quite well.

        I do not, however, understand watching a little kid go off to school and imagining paying someone to punch him and drawing a cartoon to that effect. And I do not understand how the cartoonist would not realize that it would upset people who were bullied as kids, which it has.

        •  I realized years ago (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Eyesbright, RenMin

          That there are many people who really don't care at all about children being bullied. That may not be the cartoonist's particular problem, but the phenomenon does exist.

          The more people I encounter, the more I appreciate our cats.

          by Old Sailor on Tue Aug 20, 2013 at 05:54:07 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        •  I'm sorry gram, I just don't understand (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Thomasina, 420 forever

          I was beaten, I was bullied. I was small with a funny last name and I get bullied every day in school til i finally caught up in size and put a stop to it, years worth of bullying.
          If its all about the poor bullied, beaten kid then well, I'm him.
          I don't understand why the outrage over the comic. It's not about the child, its about the parent.
          I honestly cant fathom the outrage. It makes no sense to me.
          I've read thru every comment, for and against, and I'm just not seeing anyhting that trips a light in my head and makes the objection clear  to me.
          I'm very confused, I would have thought that here was one of those intersections in reality where we would all meet.
          I don't know what to say.

          •  Dennis- you may not want to hear from me, (8+ / 0-)

            I was the first to HR this diary. So I know you are angry with me. But please, hear me out.

            First, I am so sorry that you, and so many others here, were bullied and beaten and abused as kids. No one should ever have that happen to them.

            Second, I am not ( and I don't think anyone else here is either ) saying that I am a better parent than you or that you are a bad parent. Not at all.

            But it seems to me that a lot of innocent kids are having to deal with horrible, scarring violence and it breaks my heart.

            I think that to accept the premise in this cartoon as funny, is to do a disservice to those children.

            My decision to HR was not an easy one. I struggled with it. But in the end, my heart told me I must.

            You cannot cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Rabindranath Tagore

            by Thomasina on Tue Aug 20, 2013 at 06:26:23 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  does a disservice .... (2+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              Thomasina, gramofsam1

              theres a light I hadn't really looked at this issue under.
              I'm gonna have to think about that. thank you for bringing that to me.
              I know I'm a lucky one because I survived, I didn't die but others have and do. Theres a measure of survivors guilt at play here, which is why I think you've given me pause.
              I'm not sure I agree with your premise or fully see here, but I can't honestly say I'm certain your point is without merit.
              I keep seeing people saying "I was bullied, I was beat and this is wrong" and I know I was beat and I was bullied and I think it expresses a part of parenthood very well, in a humorous way.
              But now I'm gonna have to think about this more.
              I've confronted physical and verbal child abuse many many times over the years, in public, in my neighborhood. It's a quick trigger to a guaranteed intervention on my part.
              A diservice huh? If we as parents say to our parents for example "the kid is making me nuts, sometime I just wanna strangle him". Does that dishonor the suffering of those who have been or are being abused? Is saying that the same thing as the comic? if not, then how is it different?
              I'm gonna have to think about this now.

              I wasn't angry over the HR's, I just thought them silly. But now I'm not as certain. Gonna have to think about this.

              I will say I think people should be more careful about making statements regarding other peoples parenting. If there have ever been hot button issues in the history of man, thats one of the big ones. Its an area where I think people should choose their words carefully to avoid misunderstandings, unless their intent WAS to judge harshly of course. In which case they should expect a less than friendly response.

              •  Thanks for this reply dennis. I responded to you (4+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                dennis1958, gramofsam1, RenMin, Smoh

                because I could see that you were in turmoil and I did not want you to think that I, or anyone else, was calling you a bad parent. I am sure that you are a great one. And the diarist too for that matter.

                I guess the difference, for me, at least, between saying, as we all do, "this kid is driving me nuts" and this comic is a fine line. One that we all have to negotiate to figure out what we are comfortable with.

                And since you have agreed to think about my point of view, I will consider yours as well.

                I hope we get a chance to chat again some time.

                Take care.

                You cannot cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Rabindranath Tagore

                by Thomasina on Tue Aug 20, 2013 at 07:36:06 PM PDT

                [ Parent ]

            •  Unfortunately, (0+ / 0-)

              too many people have a warped idea of what is "funny". I'm old enough to remember when "harelip jokes" were commonly considered funny. And by the way, IMNSHO you are completely wasting your time trying to connect with the people who are defending this wretched cartoon.

              The more people I encounter, the more I appreciate our cats.

              by Old Sailor on Wed Aug 21, 2013 at 07:26:57 AM PDT

              [ Parent ]

          •  I'm glad you're not upset by this (4+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Nowhere Man, Eyesbright, dennis1958, Smoh

            even though you were bullied and beaten. Other people are though, and I think we should respect that. I also think the cartoonist might have seen that this could trigger some old hurts in people who were bullied.

            That's the problem with edgy humor- it's going to affect people differently based on their experiences and attitudes.
            I get that it's supposed to be "about the parent", but a cartoon that depicts a little kid getting punched (by someone his father paid off) is guaranteed to offend a lot of people, no matter the intent.

            Someone below mentioned the book "Go the Fuck to Sleep", which is also an expression of parental frustration, but everyone loves it. Little kids getting punched out, not so much. To me it's about as funny as a wife-beating "joke".

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site