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View Diary: The Baboons (32 comments)

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  •  One more point: (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    ruleoflaw, RiveroftheWest

    The poem would be much better,
    it seems to me,
    if you would simply
    delete
    the entire third stanza.

    The whole thing would be much easier
    to understand.

    Not saying you must do as I do,
    of course,
    but the one goal
    that governs my writing style,
    is to do what I can
    to make myself clear.

    The rest of the poem
    is jump out and shout
    clear.

    The third stanza is lumber,
    asking me to wrap my brain around lumber.

    Seems to me.

    Bringing a child into the world at this point in history is a crime, the crime of child endangerment.

    by bigjacbigjacbigjac on Thu Aug 29, 2013 at 02:14:51 AM PDT

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