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View Diary: Daily Show explains why Middle East is so f***ed up: it's the maps (20 comments)

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  •  From the Boomer Bible: (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    TheOrchid, ER Doc

    Chapter 10

    What with sand and other
    very important issues like
    that, the people of the near east
    decided the only thing to do was
    kill each other,
    2 As much as possible,
    3 Forever,
    4 And so they did.
    5 Some of the killing was for
    religious reasons,
    6 And some of it was for eco-
    nomic reasons,
    7 But mostly it was for irrecon-
    cilable differences,
    8 Since they were all completely
    and utterly different from each
    9 Except for their noses,
    10 And their love of sand,
    11 And their fanatical devotion
    to their religion,
    12 And their consuming desire
    to annihilate their enemies,
    13 Which were usually every-
    body else,
    14 Including the Iranians,
    15 And the Iraqis,
    16 And the Saudis,
    17 And the Syrians,
    18 And the Jordanians,
    19 And the Lebanese,
    20 And the Israelis,
    21 And the Palestinians,
    22 And the Kuwaitis,
    23 And the Turks,
    24 And a bunch of others too,
    25 Except the Indians,
    26 Who are too busy hating the
    Pakistanis to fight about sand,
    27 Ever since Mahatma Gan-
    dhi pushed the Brits out of
    28 By pretending that Indians
    were too peace-loving to hate
    29 Which is only the second or
    third joke ever pulled off in the
    middle east.

    Chapter 11

    And eventually, when the end
    of the world comes,
    2 It will probably start in the
    middle east,
    3 Where nobody ever learns,
    4 For thousands and thousands
    and thousands of years,
    5 Which is probably ok,
    6 Because when the end of the
    world comes,
    7 There will finally be peace,
    8 For billions and billions and
    billions of years,
    9 Unless God is crazy enough to
    start another creation in the mid-
    dle east,
    10 Which would exactly double
    His current total of middle east

    "The next time everyone will pay for it equally, and there won't be any more Chosen Nations, or any Others. Poor bastards all." ~The Boomer Bible

    by just another vet on Thu Sep 05, 2013 at 07:51:51 AM PDT

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