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View Diary: It's Impolite to Talk About Religion, Politics....and Health Insurance?! (95 comments)

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  •  A lot of people that you love are not always going (6+ / 0-)

    to do the smartest thing. And whether to mention this to them is always tricky.

    But how about when a person you love is mentally ill? Do you help him or her get to a psychiatrist?

    How about if a person you love who is an alcoholic? Do you try an intervention?

    What about when you love somebody who hasn't had a yearly checkup? Do you say "I love you, please go get a colonoscopy, I want to have you around as long as possible"?

    I would say that urging and/or helping somebody to get appropriate medical care is part of loving that person.

    And further, I would say that the ACA is one of the few examples recently when we as a country have shown that we love the least of us.

    •  About those yearly checkups (3+ / 0-)
      What about when you love somebody who hasn't had a yearly checkup?
      Kinda depends on the person. Researchers who conducted a study that reviewed 16 randomized trials of general health checks (totalling over 180,000 patients) reached this conclusion:
      General health checks did not reduce morbidity or mortality, neither overall nor for cardiovascular or cancer causes...With the large number of participants and deaths included, the long follow-up periods used, and considering that cardiovascular and cancer mortality were not reduced, general health checks are unlikely to be beneficial.
      ....the benefits may be smaller than expected and the harms greater. One possible harm from health checks is the diagnosis and treatment of conditions that were not destined to cause symptoms or death. Their diagnosis will, therefore, be superfluous and carry the risk of unnecessary treatment.
    •  Intervened with my dad 40 years ago (9+ / 0-)

      My father was then 57, just shy of the age his dad, who had a very hard life and made it worse with heavy smoking and drinking, died of a heart attack. Even though my father did not smoke and rarely drank even as much as a glass of wine, I was worried that he was showing signs that suggested hypertension.

      I told my parents that I was pregnant with their first grandchild, and told my dad that I wanted him to live to enjoy the child, unlike his father. One of my med school colleagues was just opening her own practice, and I knew my dad liked bright women - he married one and raised two! - so I sent him to see her. She treated his hypertension and other issues, and he came to like and trust her. He is still here, at age 97, and now enjoying his great grandchildren. (She also saved my mother's life at least 3 times, and my mother just turned 97, though she is suffering from dementia now.)

      So I think it's worth telling people that you love them, and trying to help them experience good health for as long as possible. The end stages are tough, almost no matter what. If they die suddenly it's  hard on those left behind. If it's a lingering death, it's hard on everyone.

      •   It tried that (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        plumbobb, mettle fatigue

        But his phobia, developed as a child with an operation that went very wrong, overcame what I had to say.

        So, I have to go with that it was his choice. He didn't want to "become a burden" and he wasn't. Right up until the day he had the heart attack he was right there, vibrant and alive, able to do everything he wanted. No decline at all, until the last day or so.

        I knew one of us would go eventually, since he was 10 years older than me I figured it was more likely to him, just not this soon. I thought there'd be another 20 years or so since his father lived to be 94.

        Shows that thinking doesn't make it so. I'm happy we enjoyed each day as much as we could, and that I have quite a few videos and pictures of him.

        Women create the entire labor force.
        Sympathy is the strongest instinct in human nature. - Charles Darwin

        by splashy on Mon Sep 09, 2013 at 12:50:19 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  I tried that, not it! (arrrghhh) eom (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          plumbobb, mettle fatigue

          Women create the entire labor force.
          Sympathy is the strongest instinct in human nature. - Charles Darwin

          by splashy on Mon Sep 09, 2013 at 12:50:49 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        •  So sorry for your loss - and glad you had the time (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:

          Sorry that it didn't work for you! Doesn't always, but worth a try. It sounds as if you had a rich and happy life together and counted each day as a blessing.

          I was lucky to know exactly what buttons to push with my dad and to be the first-born daughter, with all the privileges of a special place in his heart for that. I try not to misuse these Special Powers. And despite his fear of doctors dating back to appendicitis and peritonitis and near death as a boy, he really liked Marsha once he met her, and he had great respect for her knowledge. He didn't do everything she asked but he listened, and he gave her business advice (he was an accounting professor) and did everything she suggested to take care of my mother.

          But he didn't expect to live to 97, and to become frail and more dependent, or to have my mother develop dementia. Perhaps he'd rather have gone suddenly 5 years ago. Sigh.

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