Skip to main content

View Diary: THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP TODAY! Son-in-Law Fired After 3.5 Years of Emotional Torture (194 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  Many, many thanks for your great advice (4+ / 0-)

    Yours and others have really helped qualm my insecurities about decision making.  

    I hadn't thought about selling my home and moving into an apartment in a less rural area.  Honestly, that sounds like fun.  I have been grandma-on-the-shelf-ready-and-able-24/7 for 15 years now.  Perhaps I need to cut the apron strings (gulp, guilt go away)  

    It's difficult to be happy knowing so many suffer. We must unite.

    by War on Error on Mon Sep 09, 2013 at 01:22:30 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  No guilt there. One of the best things you can do (4+ / 0-)

      for your adult kids and their children is to make sure you are in a good place and secure.  I have seen many families founder when the grandparents unexpectedly become insecure and the grandparents' needs are added to the burdens of the younger family.  You should not feel guilty about thinking how to keep yourself secure.  

      •  It also can be quite instructive. (0+ / 0-)

        Both my sister and I were impressed with our grandparents' logical, objective, pro-active approach, especially compared with some of their contemporaries who were determined to stay put, even as their situations grew increasingly untenable and they became dependant on family members to keep them "independent."

        I am deeply grateful to Grandma & Grandpa for setting such an excellent example.

    •  Opportunity disguised as loss ... (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      War on Error, JBL55

      we're going to be seeing a lot more of that in the next decade as we boomers regroup and re-imagine our future.

      Me? I've been living on my own for 15 years, good health but finances aren't where they need to be considering I'm in good health. No kids, no spouse, younger extended family members are coming and going but not settled yet, lots of friends in a similar situation. Recently the idea of a multi-gen living situation has started to look appealing. Co-housing. Cooking and gardening together in an urban setting. Starting to dream a new dream.

       WoE, sending good vibes your way tonight!

      "Let us not look back to the past with anger, nor towards the future with fear, but look around with awareness." James Thurber

      by annan on Mon Sep 09, 2013 at 06:27:57 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  Here's another thing to think about. (0+ / 0-)

      When Grandpa decided he shouldn't be driving any more, he simply stopped driving and asked my mother to sell his car for him.

      He was in a building with an elevator, and he could walk to church, the grocery store, the post office, the bank ...

      If he wanted to go anywhere else there was a bus that stopped in front of his building he could take either to several nearby towns or to NYC from where he could fly or take the train practically anywhere.

      And my mother was always happy to drive him places.  It reached a point where she did her weekly grocery shopping with him: she'd pick him up and drive to the grocery store where they'd each push their own carts and get what they each needed, and then she'd drive him home and help him with the groceries if he wanted her to.

      He was a very independent-minded guy and a real introvert -- when his hearing began to go he didn't mind because then nobody expected him to hold up his end of the conversation.  

      As you can imagine, he was not up for sharing digs with anyone, which was one of his reasons for making sure nobody wanted to move him in with them.  His parents lived with him and Grandma in their later years and I'm sure that experience was quite formative for them.

      Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site