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View Diary: The Grieving Room: I have a dead star in my heart. (73 comments)

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  •  Ohmygosh THIS! (4+ / 0-)
       For me, my brother dying felt like a black hole had opened up and I was inside it. It was limitless, endless, bottomless, devoid of light and always, always hungry. And that is where I remained, even if I was standing right in front of you. You could not see it, you could not know, but I was inside a black hole and you were on the safe side of the event horizon.
         Over time, the line that marked the boundary between my pain and the rest of the world, that surrounded my grief, compressed itself, until I could carry it in one spot: right in my heart. That is where I see it now. Sometimes I can feel it there, that blackness. When I cry, I find myself pressing my hand over it.  

         I hold a dead star in my heart.: right in my heart. That is where I see it now. Sometimes I can feel it there, that blackness. When I cry, I find myself pressing my hand over it.  

         I hold a dead star in my heart.

    All of this, every single bit, is how my husband's death 3 years ago felt, and feels to me. It is an honor to read your experience of your pain, and a validation of my own. Thank you beyond words.

    Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead -

    by FlamingoGrrl on Tue Sep 17, 2013 at 07:51:41 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

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