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View Diary: Adoption Series Part 1 - Bitter Truths (101 comments)

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  •  From a mother's point (9+ / 0-)

    I reject the term birth mother.  I am my daughter's mother.  One of them anyway, but not one lesser than who needs a preface to describe her place in a relationship.

    I think I represent the majority of mothers who lost their children to a well oiled machine set in place in the early to mid twentieth century.  We are the mothers sent away to hide our pregnancies so our parents could continue to go on with their lives as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening in their worlds.  

    We are the mothers whose bodies were changing in ways no person should endure alone.  We were groomed to carry a shame bigger than our tiny teen shoulders could carry.  We were groomed to believe that giving our babies away was altruistic and as one priest told me, would atone for my sin.

    And then, thud!  It happened.  We were the mothers left in cold rooms to labor alone.  Nurses did not know what to say to us.  In some cases they too judged and shamed us.  So they left us on our own.  Literally.  

    But what the op left out of this diary is that most of us mothers WANTED our children.   We never wanted to profit!  My god that insult hit me like a ton of bricks!  No, we wanted the responsibility of raising our children.   Never did I consider my daughter "baggage."   These stereotypes do much harm to the majority of us who have missed our children dearly and ached for them every day.  

    Please keep in mind that mothers suffered greatly.  They told us we would forget and get on with our lives.  But that was a false promise made to enrich themselves; meaning the adoption agencies.  

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