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  •  Exactly (18+ / 0-)

    I'm not socially awkward on the Internet because of the backspace key. Oh, for a backspace key in real life...

    I don't mind if you're straight. Just don't flaunt it in public.

    by Chrislove on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 07:06:07 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  Well, you know, Chris, you and I make our living (14+ / 0-)

      interacting with people. In your case, it's teaching class. In mine, it's running tightly-run musical rehearsals. But you know what? I'm totally "on" when I'm at work and sometimes even gregarious me wants to come home, turn off the computer and television, open up a book and just breathe. I totally get it.

      The "Shot heard 'round the world" is now known as the "Pinochet Ricochet". --commonmass

      by commonmass on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 07:08:14 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  I can definitely be "on" (12+ / 0-)

        when I'm teaching. This was especially true last semester, when I was TAing for the second half of the U.S. survey. The first half is a bit more of a challenge, because I can barely hide my loathing of it! haha.

        I don't mind if you're straight. Just don't flaunt it in public.

        by Chrislove on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 07:13:18 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Several of us here share academic or quasi- (13+ / 0-)

          academic (like in my case) professions. It never ceases to amaze me how much alike we all are.

          The "Shot heard 'round the world" is now known as the "Pinochet Ricochet". --commonmass

          by commonmass on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 07:15:28 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

        •  I am on all day at school (4+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          commonmass, Chrislove, cohenzee, txcatlin

          and I absolutely thrive. And I do well with people I don't know for the most part. I get weird around people I know.

          I am constantly searching for something to say, overcompensating, talking without thinking. It makes me anxious, and I've never been able to figure it out.

          Also, hairstylists. I hate that. I started to cut my own hair. My wife made me stop.

          I will say this for you, Chris. You did pretty well when I met you IRL considering what you describe here. I took that as "reserved", so everyone else may not be picking up on it as much as you fear. I'm usually a pretty astute judge in person and you had me fooled.

          Turning Texas starts with Wendy Davis.

          by bastrop on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 08:08:19 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  Thanks, bastrop (4+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            commonmass, cohenzee, bastrop, txcatlin

            I tend to do well around people who are my opposite. I can talk to people who are extremely talkative. I actually feel much more comfortable around them. I think that's one of the reasons I click so well with my BF. You and Bill, I can get along with very well for the same reason.

            I'm sure you're right, though, that I'm not as bad as I think I am. At least, I hope so! :)

            I don't mind if you're straight. Just don't flaunt it in public.

            by Chrislove on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 08:16:05 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

          •  I share that with you, bastrop: (4+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Chrislove, cohenzee, bastrop, txcatlin

            I can get weird around people I know well more than around people that I don't. I also have a problem with names: it has taken me a year to learn all the names of the people in my choir. Not because I don't want to, but because I have a problem (you might not even know this) with putting face recognition with names. I have to fudge. Alot. It's stressful.

            I love being on at work, and I am on, and have always been such and you'd know because we've worked together from time to time over the years. But it exhausts me. You should see me after a rehearsal now that I just come home and crash or perhaps spend some time here. I am totally exhausted. Spent. All I want to do is curl up with my cat and maybe some KosFriends. Totally spent.

            That being said, I think it's great that people like many of us here, and you, can be "on" because we care about what we do and want to do it well. Collapsing after the many challenges we face while being "on" says a lot about our commitment to our individual crafts and talents.

            The "Shot heard 'round the world" is now known as the "Pinochet Ricochet". --commonmass

            by commonmass on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 08:17:39 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  You with names, too, huh? (4+ / 0-)

              Damn. After all these years I learn something new about my brother and I have the same problem. Amazing. I had no idea.

              Yes. It is the bane of my existence as a school teacher. I am terrible with names. And the worst part is the most obvious, I remember the names of the bad kids first. This is always the case for teachers. And the very good kids. And that leaves a big hole in the middle. It sucks.

              I have tried every trick in the book. Because I teach every child in the school, I have more faces to know than most teachers have to deal with. That's hundreds of names. I compensate in many ways. Sometimes I say no-one's  name, and nod or call everyone some version of "hey you". It is terrible. And embarrassing.

              I have one delightful student named Camilla whose name I do know, who I invariably call Pricilla before I call her Camilla. Pricilla is in the same class and I know her name, too. Or I did last year, anyway. No, I do. See? It's like that all the time.

              Often I find myself saying someones name without thinking and fear I have called the wrong one, only to congratulate myself at getting it right, then worrying that I will soon forget it. It never ends. I feel your pain, commonmass, I do.

              Woe is me, my students love me and I love them but I can't remember but two-thirds of their names, and the remaining third must think to themselves "He has never said my name when he wasn't reading it off of my paper."

              Turning Texas starts with Wendy Davis.

              by bastrop on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 09:51:24 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              •  I am so glad we both have the same problems (2+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                Chrislove, bastrop

                with names and other things. A classroom or a choir room is not that different and yet we'd like to nail the names. Get everyone's, and really know.

                There was a time when I thought it was some kind of hubris on my part, but I later learned that it's a legitimate issue. When you and I were working together in a certain place I only knew the names of the people I went to school with. I had to work to make sure I knew the ones of the people I didn't in the band.

                It's nice not to be alone in that.

                The "Shot heard 'round the world" is now known as the "Pinochet Ricochet". --commonmass

                by commonmass on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 09:56:41 PM PDT

                [ Parent ]

    •  I'm totally fine when I have to talk in front (7+ / 0-)

      of a group of people, but if I have to talk to someone individually, oh my lord. I love having to give presentations in class. I hate having to do that "work with a partner" shit. Work with yourself, dammit.

      Facebook
      If you say "gullible" real slow, it sounds like "green beans."

      by weatherdude on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 07:24:46 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  I just "worked with a partner" the other day. (5+ / 0-)

        It wasn't at all difficult and highly explosive. LOL.

        Greetings, wxdude. But I totally get your point.

        The "Shot heard 'round the world" is now known as the "Pinochet Ricochet". --commonmass

        by commonmass on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 07:27:22 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

      •  Giving a lecture or speech is totally (5+ / 0-)

        easy for me. Afterwards when people come up to talk to me is a nightmare.

        I must end each day with a dose of Top Comments. A TC diary is a must for developing the calmness I need to get the required eight hours of sleep. - cohenzee

        by cohenzee on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 07:53:08 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  I'll say this again, zee, but it was great (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Chrislove, cohenzee

          hanging out with you and engaging in dialogue with you when you visited. I hope I didn't wear you out. I enjoyed every single minute of it. I could hardly think of a better Kossack to have some serious meatspace dialogue with than you.

          Now that I know that, I'll be a bit less enthusiastic and I do hope that you and yours will join me at the cottage at some point next season.

          The "Shot heard 'round the world" is now known as the "Pinochet Ricochet". --commonmass

          by commonmass on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 08:07:19 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  I enjoyed it very much as well. (2+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            commonmass, Chrislove

            I am really looking forward to coming back up and so is my sister who got to go on her first fishing trip off Long Island when we were out East.

            As much as I am an introvert, I can be the chattiest person I know. It's weird, but once I get comfortable with someone, I talk non-stop. I was just surprised at myself how quickly I warmed up to you. It's a testament to the person you are.

            I must end each day with a dose of Top Comments. A TC diary is a must for developing the calmness I need to get the required eight hours of sleep. - cohenzee

            by cohenzee on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 08:51:30 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  Well, it's a testament to who you are as well. (2+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              cohenzee, Chrislove

              I think that between the two of us we have the Old and the New pretty much sewn up. ;)

              Now your sister: I have to say that I absolutely adore her. She exudes New York and in all the best ways. Tell her that next time you talk to her.

              The "Shot heard 'round the world" is now known as the "Pinochet Ricochet". --commonmass

              by commonmass on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 08:54:36 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

        •  I'm the opposite. (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Chrislove, commonmass, cohenzee

          I'm OK with being in front of a crowd, just don't ask me to say anything while I'm there.


          As a result of a nasty blow to my head, I’ve begun making self fulfilling prophecies. I now live in fear of my own future. - UID 16382

          by glb3 on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 08:41:38 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

          •  I prefer one on one conversations ... (3+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            commonmass, Chrislove, cohenzee

            eye contact optional.


            As a result of a nasty blow to my head, I’ve begun making self fulfilling prophecies. I now live in fear of my own future. - UID 16382

            by glb3 on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 08:46:51 PM PDT

            [ Parent ]

            •  You see, I have to look everyone in the eye. (2+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              Chrislove, cohenzee

              And likely, if I have only met you a couple of times, will not remember your name. But I have to look you in the eye. I'll remember your face that way.

              The "Shot heard 'round the world" is now known as the "Pinochet Ricochet". --commonmass

              by commonmass on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 08:48:33 PM PDT

              [ Parent ]

              •  I remember other by their smell. (3+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                commonmass, Chrislove, cohenzee

                It's like fingerprints and snowflakes.


                As a result of a nasty blow to my head, I’ve begun making self fulfilling prophecies. I now live in fear of my own future. - UID 16382

                by glb3 on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 08:56:11 PM PDT

                [ Parent ]

                •  I only had that experience once in my life. (2+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  lotac, cohenzee

                  My former partner Frank. Phermones. I could smell him a mile away.

                  Sadly, I still enjoy the smell of my late husband as I have been going through some of his winter clothes with a view of donating them to charity. Many of them still smell like him.

                  I'll make an admission which will be strange to many, but after he died I refused to sleep in our bed for months and only recently washed the sheets. I'll admit that I smelled them, and they smelled like him. I cried for hours.

                  The "Shot heard 'round the world" is now known as the "Pinochet Ricochet". --commonmass

                  by commonmass on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 08:59:15 PM PDT

                  [ Parent ]

                  •  Some people smell rather pleasant. (3+ / 0-)
                    Recommended by:
                    commonmass, cohenzee, Chrislove


                    As a result of a nasty blow to my head, I’ve begun making self fulfilling prophecies. I now live in fear of my own future. - UID 16382

                    by glb3 on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 09:10:16 PM PDT

                    [ Parent ]

                    •  Like pie ... (3+ / 0-)
                      Recommended by:
                      cohenzee, commonmass, Chrislove


                      As a result of a nasty blow to my head, I’ve begun making self fulfilling prophecies. I now live in fear of my own future. - UID 16382

                      by glb3 on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 09:11:59 PM PDT

                      [ Parent ]

                      •  ... or a cat. (2+ / 0-)
                        Recommended by:
                        commonmass, Chrislove


                        As a result of a nasty blow to my head, I’ve begun making self fulfilling prophecies. I now live in fear of my own future. - UID 16382

                        by glb3 on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 09:13:50 PM PDT

                        [ Parent ]

                        •  My cat, who is long-haired but a Ragdoll (1+ / 0-)
                          Recommended by:
                          Chrislove

                          (which means a shorthaired undercoat) hasn't a scent at all. Soft as the finest ermine, he only smells clean. EXCEPT: I had some of Terun's stuff pulled out and he slept on it and then he smelled like him. I have to keep something, because the cat and Terun were attached at the hip. He rolled in those clothes.

                          We both miss him so much.

                          The "Shot heard 'round the world" is now known as the "Pinochet Ricochet". --commonmass

                          by commonmass on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 09:19:14 PM PDT

                          [ Parent ]

                    •  That's very true. (1+ / 0-)
                      Recommended by:
                      Chrislove

                      Terun smelled pleasant but it's going to be difficult for me to get his stuff donated. My mother visited me for two weeks just last month and it was only then that I finally decided I should move into my room rather than the guest room. Terun died in February. It has been a very long adjustment process for me, and I don't mind saying so.

                      The "Shot heard 'round the world" is now known as the "Pinochet Ricochet". --commonmass

                      by commonmass on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 09:15:27 PM PDT

                      [ Parent ]

      •  In software programming, which is my line of work (5+ / 0-)

        the trend now is to pair up. One computer, two people, sharing ideas and cross-checking each other.

        I hate it.

        Nobody ever forced me to do that, and good thing too. It wouldn't have been pretty.

        I can't even stand somebody looking at my screen while I'm working.

        I'm just one of those who does much better working on my own.

        Marry the one you love, not the one a bigot says you're allowed to love.

        by lotac on Fri Oct 04, 2013 at 08:15:09 PM PDT

        [ Parent ]

    •  LOL ... Get an iPhone (0+ / 0-)

      A set the call service to "Do Not Disturb".

      Then only your starred contact (or no one) can call you.

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