Skip to main content

View Diary: Anti-Bullying Hero Killed in Colorado (41 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  Too true, John. It's beyond me how anyone, much (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    FogCityJohn, churchylafemme, CalNM

    less adults, blame the victim of bullying. Keeping the conversation front and center--and people do not like to keep this conversation front and center--is the cure.

    "You are not even aware of what is possible. The extent of their capabilities is horrifying."Edward Snowden -6.62, -6.92

    by CanyonWren on Fri Oct 11, 2013 at 02:28:17 PM PDT

    [ Parent ]

    •  It's not beyond me. (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      churchylafemme, CanyonWren, CalNM

      I saw it throughout my own childhood when I was bullied for being gay.  The simple fact of the matter is that members of a dominant group (in this case, straight people) tend to side with other members of their group against someone in a marginalized group.  In other words, homophobia is the cause not only of the bullying itself, but also of the reactions to the bullying.  

      This phenomenon is not limited to homophobia, of course, and it can be seen at work with racism, sexism, and other prejudices.  What makes it particularly damaging in the case of homophobia, however, is that unlike other "isms," almost all gay kids experience homophobia in complete isolation.  A black child who's being bullied because of racism can turn to his parents, who, having experienced racism themselves, possess an intuitive sense of how to help their child cope with it.  Most gay kids have straight parents, and so they may not have anyone to whom they can turn for support.  Even the most supportive straight parents have no clue what it's like to be gay, so they often find themselves at a loss in trying to help their child confront the prejudice against him.

      This sense of isolation is one of the reasons gay kids commit suicide.  Children can endure many hardships as long as they feel they're not alone.  When they are left to fend for themselves in hostile environments, they may simply give up hope.  (I almost did.)  That's why I think of this as an adult problem.  Adults perpetuate homophobia, and they also don't do enough to combat it when it flares up.  Kids just can't be expected to do it on their own.

      "Ça c'est une chanson que j'aurais vraiment aimé ne pas avoir écrite." -- Barbara

      by FogCityJohn on Fri Oct 11, 2013 at 04:58:16 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site