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View Diary: Reflections of a battered husband--and how loopholes in NC law made my divorce more difficult (38 comments)

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  •  Oh, I have been (9+ / 0-)

    I've been reaching out a lot over the years--one mistake I made in the time between I graduated from Carolina and my marriage was letting my high school and college ties slip.

    And I've wanted to write about this for a long time ... it was just hard to string together what to say in a way that couldn't be construed as a threat.  That's how strong the emotions that surge through me are even now, six to seven years later.

    •  That happens... (6+ / 0-)
      was letting my high school and college ties slip.
      One tactic is that social ties will seem to slip away over time. That's part of the isolation tactic that gets used.

      You don't even realize you're letting her do it, since she does is slowly, usually with guilt or some sort of 'drama' you try to resolve, and then one day you look around and you realize what has happened.

      It's so easy to kick yourself because at the time, these personal compromises may even seem reasonable in order to maintain and 'nurture' the relationship.

      Then you wake up and you see, you were not giving in to 'nurturing', you were appeasing a parasite. The problem is, the parasite is never sated.

      -6.38, -6.21: Lamented and assured to the lights and towns below, Faster than the speed of sound, Faster than we thought we'd go, Beneath the sound of hope...

      by Vayle on Tue Oct 15, 2013 at 07:07:40 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

    •  College ties will help more. (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Aspe4, Philpm, Box of Rain

      High school, not so much. That's my experience anyway. We go to a college because we want to, HS because we have to, usually.

      Hang in there, you're not alone.

      WTF!?!?!?! When did I move to the Republic of Gilead?!

      by IARXPHD on Tue Oct 15, 2013 at 07:13:02 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

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