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View Diary: Reflections of a battered husband--and how loopholes in NC law made my divorce more difficult (38 comments)

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  •  I may sound a bit cynical but it seems to me that (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Vayle, sillycarrot, Mr Robert

    any wedding plans should include a trip to an attorney (each party should go to a separate attorney because you as a couple have different interests vs you as an individual in a couple) as well as your individual investment or financial advisers so you fully understand your state laws regarding marital property and the rights and obligations of each party.

    While this is less necessary in your earlier years, since so many marriages fail now, it is not a bad idea even if you are in your 20's.  If you are older and have accumulated assets over the years, you especially want to protect yourself.

    I know this is so counter to all the romantic stuff surrounding weddings in our culture but it may save you grief later on.  I still remember my future sister in law when I suggested she and my brother should sign a pre-nup, allow the business to take out key man insurance on him and generally provide for succession for the family business.  She went absolutely ballistic and I was forced to buy him out.  To this day, he is convinced he was cheated out of his birthright by me because the business has prospered in the ensuing years while the sales proceeds were spent by him and his wife years ago.  However I don't regret protecting myself as there were enough problems with my parents' estates with his being bought out.  i cannot imagine his behavior had he still been a partner.

    OTOH, I also have no intention of ever marrying again.  My daughters and fox terrierist would not allow it.

    •  The best course is not to marry. (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      sillycarrot, Mr Robert

      I won't marry again. I've been criticized for this choice by some. Why they are so deeply offended can range from amusing, to frightening.

      I refuse to allow anyone the capability to lie (make false accusations) and then control my life based just on their whims.

      It's just not worth it.

      -6.38, -6.21: Lamented and assured to the lights and towns below, Faster than the speed of sound, Faster than we thought we'd go, Beneath the sound of hope...

      by Vayle on Tue Oct 15, 2013 at 07:53:07 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  I would not marry again but mutual living (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Mr Robert, FarWestGirl

        arrangements may be construed as granting certain rights in some states.  This is why I advocate consulting an attorney especially in matters of the heart (besides, as the kids point out, I am not particularly lovable)  

        •  Yes. Cohabitation is still risky. (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Mr Robert

          People need to do everything they can to protect themselves.

          The heart wants what it wants, until it doesn't, and then - watch out.

          -6.38, -6.21: Lamented and assured to the lights and towns below, Faster than the speed of sound, Faster than we thought we'd go, Beneath the sound of hope...

          by Vayle on Tue Oct 15, 2013 at 01:45:35 PM PDT

          [ Parent ]

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