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View Diary: Silence Games: Welcome to Daily Koch - A New Low for a Formerly Liberal Blog. (329 comments)

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  •  So you're an Aspie (19+ / 0-)

    My boy is an autie, so I get how that state of being can color your response to criticism, especially if it seems irrational to you.  Please allow me to offer a couple of suggestions.

    1.  Don't ever, ever use the c-word here again.  Yes, I understand that there is an English context in which that word may be felt to be less toxic (although even in England, there is controversy on that point.)  This is not England.  Here, there is no context is which that word can be acceptably used.

    2.  If someone offers you a criticism which you find to be ridiculous, don't respond.  Or, if you do, keep it neutral.  I have found the phrase "Thanks for sharing" to be neutral enough to end the discussion, but snarky enough to annoy the recipient.

    3.  You don't need the last word.  Now, let me be clear about what I'm saying.  You seem conscientious about engaging in your diaries.  I respect that.  So, when someone makes a point with which you agree or disagree, on a matter of relevance to the topic of the diary, feel free to engage in support or debate by marshalling ideas and presenting them.  Don't argue; don't make it personal.  This place is best when we talk about ideas and actions.  It is worst when we personalize discussion.

    4. In the context of this particular diary, I understand that you are upset that you received a timeout.  With sincere respect, I ask you to, now, get over it.  Learn from it.  Modify the language and/or rhetorical tactics which have gotten you in hot water.  You are, when you do so, a valuable voice here.  However you may feel about what happened, recognize where (not how) the perceptions of others may have been skewed, and adapt.

    5.  Last, but not least, there are, of course, people here who don't like you.  And there are, of course, people here whom you don't like.  And, in a slightly different angle, there are people here with whom you will find little common ground.  For the former groups, it may be best if you simply pretend as if they aren't there.  For the latter group, instead of trying to persuade the unpersuadable, look for that sliver of space where you can engage with those people positively.

    I know that I'm asking a lot.  And please feel free to ignore any or all of what I have written.  But I want you to know that I have dropped out of lurking/mostly TTFN in order to make this comment.  After my autistic son was assaulted, I made a choice to pull back, at least until the case against his assaulter is settled.  Aside from a memorial diary I hosted recently, I have been pretty quiet.  But I believe that you add value to this place, at least when you stay focussed on what is truly important.  And I would wish to know that, years from now, you will still be an important voice here.

    The only bonafides I can offer are two:
    1. An bare understanding on how auties/aspies can perceive social interaction in a way which disadvantages them in an NT world.
    2. 7+ years at Daily Kos without ever having received an HR rating.  That 0-4690.

    I wish you nothing but the best, however you decide to proceed going forward.

    Ancora Impara--Michelangelo

    by aravir on Thu Oct 17, 2013 at 10:40:59 AM PDT

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