Skip to main content

View Diary: True or False: Physically forcing someone to have sex is rape. (139 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  can consent be withdrawn after the fact? (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    sfbob, FarWestGirl

    "I thought I liked him and I thought I would enjoy it.  So I said 'yes'.  But the more I think about it, the more I realize I didn't like what he did with me one bit."  Was that woman raped?

    I think there are a lot of men out there who have some theoretical awareness of kink and the idea that aggression, physicality, and male dominance are not inherently violating of a woman, and may even be enjoyable.  The downside of this is that men can see rape as having far more to do with the particular woman and her current state of mind than with his actions (never mind his own state of mind), but are themselves uncomfortable with or outright dismissive of that kind of subjectivity as something they cannot possibly account for ... especially considering how many men believe that women don't like to have to give directions in the bedroom.

    Domestic politics is the continuation of civil war by other means.

    by Visceral on Thu Nov 07, 2013 at 10:10:41 AM PST

    •  If Either Partner Withdraws Consent (6+ / 0-)

      At any point before or during the encounter, and the other partner doesn't stop what they're doing immediately, it's rape.  But withdrawing consent that's already been given doesn't make something that's already happened rape.

    •  This could go in many different directions or... (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      sturunner, angelajean

      at least alternatively, could pinpoint some of the pitfalls.

      Where one person believes they are having kinky sex while the other person believes they have been raped, then the fact of the matter is that rape has occurred.

      At the very least, anyone who assumes that the person they're having sex with is into some form of kink is well-advised to ask them if that's the case, and to accept the answer either way.

      If they are then it is incumbent upon BOTH parties to define parameters and boundaries.

      If either party is incapable of having that conversation (and believe me that is not all that unusual; many people find frank discussions about sex to be challenging and uncomfortable).

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site