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View Diary: Another Charlie Brown update (40 comments)

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  •  The nursing thing is iffy right now (11+ / 0-)

    I guess I was not clear in the diary, but I am not clear right now period. Just had a nice long crying jag about the puppy, Charlie and my finances.
    the vet said Charlie is producing milk, but it seems the pups aren't nursing from her.
    So until they do, I will feed them. they did not want that either, so maybe they just are not that hungry now.
    I just don't understand what is going on with all 4 dogs.
    And my other dog doesn't understand why I am not taking her for our daily walk, but I can't leave Charlie alone.
    I need to walk daily too or I lose strength in my leg because of DDD.
    I am just trying to take things one minute at a time right now.
    Thank you for your wishes, it helps. A lot.

    Passing a law that the Constitution doesn't allow does not negate the Constitution, it negates the law that was passed. Secret courts can't make up secret laws. SORRY FOR THE TYPOS :)

    by snoopydawg on Mon Nov 04, 2013 at 12:32:23 PM PST

    [ Parent ]

    •  Yes, one moment at a time helps, please (13+ / 0-)

      keep breathing (slowly, it helps you get/stay calm) and remember to eat.

      This may sound odd, but I'm so glad you cried.  Sometimes we just really need to do that, especially after a scary time and a whirlwind of emotions.  And (so I've read) crying actually helps clear toxins created by stress/emotional distress.

      Do you have anyone nearby (nearby enough) to maybe come over or drop by over the next few days, will you accommodate to this new reality?  I'm going to suggest again that, when you are calmer, you make contact with the Rescue organzations and tell them your situation.  They may know someone(s) who can help, and a little 'respite care' could help with your other dog AND with your own self-care.

      And I'll ask, too, just for you to consider -- particularly in light of your own health needs, might it be okay to give the pups to one of the Rescue orgs, for them to give to a foster-person?  Bottle-feeding newborns is one of the things these folks are set up to do, and it might ease some stress and labor (and lost sleep, which is bad for health), and might also ease puppy-related costs.    My understanding is that these foster orgs also place the pups with great care.  I'm not asking you to make a decision on this now, because you & your fur-family need to recover from the last few days.  But imo you would in no way be any kind of a 'bad person' if you chose to do this.

      Sending Good Thoughts and wishing you the best.

      •  Funny, that is one of the things I was crying abou (12+ / 0-)

        I have no one. My family is so f-cked up I don't think I came from them. My mom had a mild stroke in December and her husband hates me. Told me to my face. "I hate you"
        Last time I went to visit her he almost hit me. Hard.
        When I called her on the phone to invite her to lunch, I heard him tell her that I was never to come to their house again. She is on so many meds now, I think she is depressed a bit and won't go out. Plus,, he likes her being so dependent on her.
        My older brother joined the LDS church and forgets he has a sister. But he is helping with their bills so he gets to check on her.
        I was looking forward to thanksgiving at my aunts so I could visit with my mom, but aunt just had surgery, so we cancelled it this year.
        Since my mom didn't go to my brothers last year, he didn't invite me either.
        On your suggestion about the rescue orgs, it is a good one, but I would rather keep them here with Charlie.
        I think it has just been the last 2 days that has me so upside down. I usually am ok.
        Since my family isn't available, the 2 dawgs are my best friends and life.
        Thanks for caring.
        I will be ok. Charlie, Abby and the pups will be ok.

        Passing a law that the Constitution doesn't allow does not negate the Constitution, it negates the law that was passed. Secret courts can't make up secret laws. SORRY FOR THE TYPOS :)

        by snoopydawg on Mon Nov 04, 2013 at 02:08:50 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Yes, you ARE okay (7+ / 0-)

          and you will continue to be okay.

          I am so sorry that your family's toxicity continues to grieve you.  I understand completely (although my family's particulars differed, of course).  But there is something in us -- part of our nature as primates, I believe -- that makes us feel (at a cellular and emotional level) that when we are scared or hurting or need help that we deserve to have our families 'be there' for us.  Then, when we do need them -- when we're scared or hurt or need comfort and support, even thought we 'know' that they will harm us, not help -- there is something in us that makes us feel 'bad' because we are bereft.  Even though we 'know' that we are bereft because their toxicity causes them to fail at basic human connection, and it is not our fault that they are cruel, that baby primate in us all makes us feel that we must be 'bad' and 'wrong' to have been abandoned in such a fundamental way.  We feel (as baby primates) that we must 'deserve' their cruelty, and if our very own families have cast us off so, whatever is 'wrong' in us must be so 'wrong' that we are cast off from the human family, bereft and alone.

          Sorry if I'm projecting.  I'm usually more careful about using 'we' and 'us' when I'm describing my own experience.  But I'm old now, and I've seen enough other people fall into this inadvertent self-torture when a hard time comes that I'm convinced that my experience can be (roughly) generalized to other toxic-family survivors.

          Rest now.  Rest and eat wisely, allowing yourself comfort food that meets your health requirements.  (And that Rescue Remedy helps, too, I've found.)  Love your doggies and love your pups and love yourself.  (Do you need to change the bed, get fresh pajamas?  Have you taken a shower?  Not nagging, just asking the questions I'd ask myself after a Bad Time.  Dishes can most certainly wait.)  

          Let yourself rest, take care of yourself and your babies (old and new).  But please, within the next day or two, make contact with some of the Rescue people for advice and support, maybe even asking about home visits from volunteers who can look after the puppies for an afternoon or evening so you can get some longer stretches of sleep.  (I'm worried about the effects of broken sleep on your health, but my worriedness is my problem, not yours.)

          And remember that you are not as alone as your baby-primate part feels.  You reached out here, and people responded, and you got support and material help.  So give your baby-primate a nice warm bottle and tuck her in well, and let her have a nice long sleep; let her know you're looking after her now.

          Sending Good Thoughts your way, as are many here.  Wishing you well.

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