Skip to main content

View Diary: Dolphins players defend Incognito over Martin (70 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  They're all invested in protecting their (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    greengemini, Cassandra Waites

    team "culture" such as it is.

    It seems to me that in a lot of closed social systems, whether it is in grade school or high school or a workplace or a sports team, there is some drive or desire in some to have a designated "outsider" for others to close ranks against, make fun of, ostracize, criticize, possibly bully, complain to the boss about, etc. until such time as they have successfully driven the outsider off either by the person quitting or being let go for not being a "team player".

    Who did Martin replace or have to compete with for his position? I wonder if part of the story lies there. Maybe the guy he replaced was the most popular guy on the team or something.

    I had an interesting experience many years ago when I was hired and thrust into a group of people who had worked together for a long time. I was very obviously ostracized from the day I arrived. There was no effort by anyone to be friendly outside of the most perfunctory courtesy. Every day they would make a very big show of going out to eat together or would eat at the same table at the company cafeteria. I honestly didn't mind and was actually sort of relieved. I preferred to eat alone with a book or a newspaper and really wasn't into their gossipy insider world anyway. Over time, after being individually subjected to my magnetic and charismatic personality :), they dropped their objections to me one by one. I later learned that one of that group had applied for the position which I had been hired for and that was the source of the resentment. Anyway, there finally came the day when I was included in the lunch invitations which I sometimes accepted and sometimes didn't - I really didn't want to be part of the herd and while I forgave their behavior, I wouldn't say I forgot it.

    “Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” FDR

    by Phoebe Loosinhouse on Thu Nov 07, 2013 at 08:10:03 AM PST

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site