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View Diary: Midday open thread: Gettysburg, boxers, Jesus and gay 'cures' (90 comments)

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  •  Now I'd be expecting 'gravity sandals' on a cross (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    here4tehbeer, stevemb

    shaped apparatus into which you stick your feet in sandals, sort of like stirrups, lay down, and then twist a Disciple's staff so the whole apparatus is rotated head going down, feet going up, and your body is fully inverted to receive the full blessings of God via the Gravity of Grace, like a new born exiting the womb, or Saint Peter's crucifixion.  (And also to quickly empty your pockets of any loose filthy mammon which God can better use via Rev. Pat 'Answers' Robertson). Share in the Passion and Sufferings of Christ and blessings shall flow!  Be sure to position your apparatus near the TV to be able to put your hand on the screen when praying for miracles along with Pastor Pat and his millions of loyal faithful.

    This uniquely Christian apparatus can be a source of your eternal blessings for only $1999 plus shipping and handling. Some assembly required.  Sandals require replacement every liturgical season to reflect the appropriate approved Divine colors at $79.99 plus shipping & handling.  Offer void where prohibited. Not sold to devil-possessed minors nor to any twisted heathen for mere amusement.

    When life gives you wingnuts, make wingnut butter!

    by antirove on Tue Nov 19, 2013 at 02:35:23 PM PST

    [ Parent ]

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