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View Diary: Transgender Day of Remembrance, 2013 (50 comments)

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  •  I figured. (6+ / 0-)

    I'm sorry for your friend's loss.

    I think one thing too many non-trans people forget in their confusion and discomfort and their not-knowing-what-to-say (assuming they're not simply hostile) is that what people going through a rough time -- for any reason -- need, first and foremost, is to know they are loved and valued.

    It's something I'm working on myself, the realization that I don't have to know the right thing to say, or really understand something I've never been through, to let somebody I care about know I'm thinking of them.  Just that, however clumsily I say it, even if that's all I know how to say, is better than saying nothing at all.

    Because the silence can become a howling silence if it's echoed all over the place.

    © cai Visit to join the fight against global warming.

    by cai on Fri Nov 22, 2013 at 06:58:26 PM PST

    [ Parent ]

    •  Sometimes what someone really needs (7+ / 0-)

      is somebody to just rant at.

      I have been so thankful for having started reading the diaries of the trans community here because it meant that when friends started drifting out of the closet post-college I could be a person to just rant at without needing to be put through Trans 101 to understand why something might matter That Much.

      Besides the fact that well, obviously someone DOES care if they put themselves through Trans 101 before they knew they were close to anyone who actually was. I will always cherish the memory of the reaction I got out of one of them pre-Coming-Out when I mentioned some things that made it clear I was very much going to be a personal ally when that Coming Out eventually occurred.

      Part of the reason I've been so emotionally wiped out is that I've been an outsider available for talking at through all this.

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